Kincaid Chronicle

22nd November 2005

(Season 13 Game 27)

Game Time: 5:30PM

Other Teams present: Weston Club

Having been made Captain in absentia, I made sure I stayed true to form and arrived late. The toss had already been coined and we had been sent in to bat. Being fully aware that Master strokes by anointed Famulee captains are many and thus, far too common, I decided to do otherwise. Prompted by Herc that those without a beer in their hand should bat, Forrest and Mojo were told to box-up. Confidence exuding from Forrest's pores on account of his recent incognito marriage, and with Mojo's abilities many times displayed, I was more than sure that we would have a good base from which to launch a massive Famulee Team score. How right I was...not.

Mojo displayed an absolute lack of mastery of his bat in the first over to engrace himself with a fantabulous 4 runs. Single handedly propping up his partner Forrest whom only managed to score a measly 10 runs in that same over. Their true form would soon surface. What, with Mojo being caught three times in the next over to arrive at a score of -14 off his own bat while Forrest who had simply stood in a corner, possibly fending off the blood which was spilling from Mojo's badly haemorrhaging bat, somehow managed to score 5 runs. He promptly cancelled said runs by getting himself run-out. Final partnership score of -4 was possibly more than we had expected. Forrest 8, Mojo -12. Hello kitty.

Enter Hersch and Sticks. Never, in the history of Da Famulee, have so few done so much for no-one. Somehow scoring Leg-sides and Wides at will, Hersch arrived at a handsome score of 27 from his 4 overs. In the meantime, Sticks had been spanking the monkey and with two (I was robbed) zaks, he produced a score which on most nights would reflect twice the usual Famulee total. Hitherto, he'd scored 41 runs !!! Progressive score on 64.

Herc and The Chad went in next and got off to a flyer. Herc was caught off the first ball. A procession of ones and the odd two scored with interspersed stumped and run-out scores by Herc in the second and third over of the partnership ensured that his contribution remained in the negatory. Not to be outdone, The Chad attempted all kinds of ways to score singles but, alas the force was not strong with this one and he just kept on scoring twos and threes with very few ones. He finally managed to get himself out in their final over, when Herc miraculously scored 10 runs to avoid a fine for a negative score. Exit Herc on 2 and The Chad on 13. Progressive score on 79.

I thought this would be a good time for a "Captain's knock". I commanded Richie to open, having had him poo-poo the long standing Famulee tradition of determining the opener by method of the paper-scissors-rock approach. I would have managed to outscore him in that first over, had I not been caught twice. The second over was of no consequence given that I did not manage to get run-out or caught or bowled. I atoned in the third and fourth overs though, managing a run-out in each over as well as a bowled in the fourth. Richie contributed by getting caught in the last ball of the innings. 8 for Richie, -1 for the Captain. Fineable offense. Progressive score 80.

This was probably one of the biggest scores that Da Famulee had posted under my captaincy. Come to think of it, this is the first time I've allegedly captained the side so, it is the biggest score ever under my captaincy. I was overflowing with confidence, or maybe it was just all that sweat having no long before finished batting.

I rallied the troops, sculled my beer, and selected Mojo as the opening bowler. He got zaked twice in that first over. One each to the batters. It was horrible, but I couldn't stop laughing internally. I managed to compose myself when two caughts in the final three balls kept them to 14 runs. Forrest, The Chad and Richie bowled superbly, un-famulee like, returning 6, 3 and 5 respectively. Exit the first pair with 28 runs and the skin. Close. Very close.

Hersch (7), Herc (4) , Sticks (4) and myself (9) kept the next pair to 24. There weren't many caughts or bowled, but the very tight and efficient bowling was chintastically well supported by some superb acts of heroics on the field.

Mojo bowled again. This time he bowled for a measly 1 run and I was starting to think that we had a chance. Forrest soon put that thought to rest when he got spanked for 20. With Herc following with a solid 13, Richie emulating Mojo by producing another measly score, this time 2, the opposition had managed to squeeze past our score and were in danger of posting a triple digit score.

Thinking that they were now in the box seat with their total on 88, Weston relaxed. The Chad pounced and the opposition found themselves in the middle of a battle managing to wrestle a negative 4. Sticks thought about this for a while and came up with the conclusion that he needed to restore balance in the universe by bowling a positive 4. Hersch did his maths and thought he'd let them titter on 90 by letting them score only two runs from his over. It was at this point that I realised that I had forgotten to bowl my second over before the end of the innings. With the opposition needing negative 9 or better to win the match, I was encouraged by Richie who insisted that two outs would do it. So, I bowled 1, Leg, Leg, Wide (Cha-ching), Dot, Leg, spank me good - seven to end the innings and hand them 15 runs for a total team score of 105. Exit Da Famulee.

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