Kincaid Chronicle

5th July 2005

(Season 13 Game 8)

Well your returning foundation member acting as captain for the night was returning to duties during the school holidays and found himself not only struggling for personal form but also having to steer a side that managed to achieve a near historically worst performance the previous week, back into the winners circle.

It started well, with the regular call of heads from the balcony with beer in hand turning out to be the best decision for the night. Having won the toss I sent The Chad & Schlangly in to bat first. Technically, The Chad hadn't picked up his newly purchased beer pff the bar and so didn't have one in hand. Schlangy was lining up for his 225th game and together these gents took the game by the throat putting on 35 runs, evenly spread at 17 & 18 each.

Next in was Bukkake & Boof, with yet another milestone to chase, Boof looking for his 2,000th career run. Both were returning from suspension the previous week and keen to ensure they scored in the positive. After some lusty swinging from Bukake (I mean with his bat), some of which connected with the ball, things were looking good after two overs. Then the run-out procession began, in the finest of Partridge traditions. Boof was left stranded, as a result he chose to not move a muscle on the next ball, finding Bukkake well short. The third run-out was just funny for all of us. It wasn't deliberate and it was trying to sneak an over-throw, Bukkake pinned again. The boys finished with a fine set of numbers, adding 26 runs to the total taking us to 61 after eight.

Herch & Herc strode to the wicket next. I've completely lost my touch while on hiatus and again lost Rock, Paper, Scissors. The first three overs were pretty good. I got out a couple of times, but all in all we were adding runs to the tally and after three overs were on 18. Then the rot set in with three caughts in the last over. Hersch fiunished with 7 runs and I finished with 3 for a total of 71 after 12 overs.

Last in was Sticks and Forest, with Sticksy absolutely flabbergasted that after four years and in his ninth seasons that Forest still didn't know the rules to Rock, Paper, Scissors.....

Not much to report in this innings. There was only one zack, leaving Sticksy with a long way to go to equal. Then to top it off, according to the scoresheet (which we all know never lies) Sticks was out three times in the last over posting a total of 1 run. Forest managed a minus four, so it's lucky for him the outs got put on the bottom line...

The Famulee total after 16 overs = 67, still a far sight better than the -10 from the previous week.

Into the field. I decided to stick to an old formula that wasn't necessarily successful, just took a lot of the decision making off the captains shoulders. Pairs would bowl to their skin, with the non-bowling partner covering the back net and both choosing all other fielding positions.

I knew this was a popular captaincy move when Schlang & The Chad didn't even discuss it before both telling me at the same time to get into the WWMSLoD position (Wa Wa Memorial Square Leg of Death) and stay there.

Schlangy managed a couple of wickets, not enough to reach that seemingly unattainable barrier of 500 though. Still needing three next week. The Chad bowled without luck, taking one wicket. The highlight being Schlangys flick, instead of hitting the stups copping Boof directly between the eyes. Not enough wickets to successfully defend their skin, losing 35 to 53.

Bukkake & Boof were up next. Bukkake immediately setting the house a-buzz with his decision to place two slips and a gully on the off-side, then bowling down leg. He managed to find the right line though and found two wickets. Boof in his overs kept the field the same and again found one wicket and a couple of near misses in the very close off-side field. While there weren't a lot of wickets falling during this session the boys did keep the oppositions scoring down to singles mostly and won their skin 26 to 20.

Herchelle Gibbs and I settled on an orthodox field and had everyone return to normal positions. Then we sent down some ordinary balls, some of which the batsmen made look good. In my pique of fitness I've given up the long run & am just sending down little offie darts, one or two of which might have spun (or might have hit a hole in the matting, still to be confirmed). Hersch finsihed with a couple of wickets, one from a flick onto the stumps from his highly talented, just unlucky partner. He finished with 2 for 15. While I also captured a couple and finsihed at 2 for 5. A total of 20 taken off our overs, having only contributed 10 with the bat.

Finally, Sticks & Forest line up to defend their total of -4. Was always gunna be tough. They decided to return to the off-side field, the effectiveness of which was so well demonstrated by Boof & Bukkake. In doing so, Forest finished with a terrific four wickets. Unfortunately, the balls he didn't get a wicket with were harshly dealt with and cost 24 runs (no 'tooth points tonight). Sticksy managed to again bowl without luck*, finishing with 1 for 12 off two. This pairing costing 14 runs and losing the skin.

Da Famulee finished with one skin from four and a loss of 40, adding tot he seasons woes. Although it is indisputably an improvement on the 170 run margin the previous week.

Just to finish, congratulations to those who acheived milestones:

Boof - 2,000 runs, well played.
Schlang - 225 games, still well ahead of the nearest rival.

Watch next week for Schlangy to not take the required three wickets for his 500th and Hersch make 29 runs, falling short of his 3,000 by two.

* - capable field

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