after the first day, da famulee lost three members so were down to 5 plus a self-posioned individual. da famulee searched about in dismay for more players, even looking down Alenes top, oops was that just me. Mojo - out with a case of runny bot*, Skip - no contact details at hand even thought there were fifty million mobiles present in the vicinity, except for Herc's which his left on his vanity unit., no scott bailey, no Chad, no WA2, no Rabs. Rabs was called anyway and proposturous promises were made about finage.
Rabs pulled through for da famulee scoffing down dinner, avoiding the wife and running out the door to join da famulee. That's the commitment we like to see.
Still one player down and a having Schlang that had to leave early da famulee badgered each and everyone of the Royals players until they were beaten bloody with the houndstooth and allowed da famulee to field first.
the royals first batting pair played some, hard to believe for the Blardyfarken venue, sensible cricket playing the side nets and walking out with 55.
The next batting pair did more or less the same. So after the first 8 overs da famulee had only taken 4 wickets. 2 by Knuckles and 2 by Herschelle. A schalacking appeared to be in the making with Royals at 90 after 8 overs.
Being brought back into the attack and keen to take venegence after his first over of 21 Bunny bowled a tight over of -1 in which there was only 3 scoring shots. Not to be outdone the Schlang-meister floated a lolly pop to the batsman who decided to spank it to the back net, straight to the hapless Hersch who promptyly dropped the catch, cha-ching, but thought he should attempt a run out even though the non-striker was still in his crease. It was about that time that I realised.... oops wrong story... it was about that time that Wazza woke up and realised that the batsmen were in fact on their third dot ball and were out anyway. Still a cha-ching though Hersch. This fiasco seemed to rattle the bastmen who were in all sorts for the rest of the over. Finishing their second over with a partnership total of -8. Enter Herc and Knuckles who took one wicket each and the 3rd partnership finishing on a respectable 0. With both batters scoring 0.
The final partnership took it upon themselves to attempt to lift the team score over 3 digits, knowing that da famulee couldn't possibly chase a total that high. The alcohol soaked Herc and hapless Schlang were made to bowl a third over. This pair finished rather uneventfully with 22. Well uneventful except for the fact that Knuckles decided** to reinforce his nick name by placing his hands directly in the path of a very late cut to have his knuckles smashed with the cricket bat. da famulee taking another 4 wickets. Royals finishing on 112.
Schlang and Hersch commenced proceedings with a solid 28, not quite reaching the skin of 55.
Boof and Knuckles came out swinging and wickets fell a plenty, somehow they managed to steady their wavering ship and finish up with 24.
Sticks and Bibbty-bobbity-babbity-babs warmed to the task with Sticks hogging the strike and Rabs running half singles most balls of the first over. Once Sticks and Bunny struck their rythym the runs came. Sticks probing the bat net for 2 zaks and a nearly zak that was caught. They left the field with 39 runs, 5 of these attributed to Rabs. The team on score 91 leaving the last partnership with just 22 runs to lead da famulee to victory. Surely not a hard task given the previous 3 batting pairs.
Somewhere a brain exploded on the Royals team as they decided to choose da famulees fittest and most prolific scorer to bat a second time with the slightly woozy Hercules. Da famulee were stunned into silence as the hand of god*** receeded into the sky....
Herc and Sticks took to the Royals with a plom scoring 21 of the 22 runs required in the first over. During the second and third overs they became a little more circumspec scoring just 10 runs off the next 2 overs. Herc may not have been seeing the ball or maybe seeing 3 of them in his post inebriated state but the bowlers seemed to sense his batting arc nicely.
After 15 overs da famulee were sitting, unsteadily on 122, entering the 16th over. Surely they couldn't loose it from here..... Tim bowled a no-ball, Sticks and Herc ran 1 and Wazza didn't call the no-ball. 1 scored only. Sticks faced up, Tim bowled a no-ball off the pitch which Sticks promptly dispatched to the back net. No-Ball plus 7 was the call from Wazza. "I told you it was a no-ball" replied Sticksy. Tim was not happy with himself as Sticks and Herc continued to carve him up, Sticksy finishing the second last ball of the game with another Zak.
Herc to face the last ball, even as the ball left Tims hand Sticks was off and racing to the keepers end with Herc let a large call of NNOOOO!!!! before the ball or Sticks had reached half way down the pitch.
Da famulee had won convincingly in the end 147 vs 112.
Da famulee has collected more legions of fans along the way, including the Bushies and Royals who will be supporting da famulee should we make the Grand Final at 8.10 against Bug Bums.
* may not actually be runny bot
** may not have actually decided to take this action.
*** may not have been The God, but a god none the less.