Kincaid Chronicle

27th April 2004 - First Final

(Season 10 Game 26)

And so it came to be that at the end of the regular season, after the obligatory repecharge and series of catch up games, and knockout 4th phase preliminary finals to qualify for the extra regular season games, Da Famulee emerged into the finals of Season 10. 50 game celebrant Bukkake was passed fit after a late swab and had the captaincy thrust on him as punishment.

Knowing his record as The Big C, Da Famulee would struggle from here on in.

"Head 'em up!!!" was the call and heads it was, and Sticks and Schlang were sent in as the non beer holding openers. Some were calling for another swab, as "Mr. 500+ This Season" was dismissed off 2 of his first three balls, although he did produce some fine top net work to make it easy on the Bushies. After much swaaaaaying and a few zaks the boys climbed to 58, a good solid start to the evening. Schlang passed 200 runs for the season, which was at the time treated with the gross disinterest it deserved.

The promise of another game at 8.10 didn't mean anything to Bukkake, who had other matters to attend to after the early game, but nonetheless he decided to go for the throats and sent in Boof and Forrest next. Highlight was the last over, during which the boys scored 26.

Mindful of his captaincy record, and the difficulty of successfully not defending a large total, next in were Big Al and Herschelle. A score of about 80 after 16 overs was easily excused, and the boys tried their best. A -3 partnership, comprising cha-chingworthy -2 and -1 set up the evening for a tight struggle. Some might say tighter than a 12 year old, but certainly not me.

Bukkake saved himself for last, and after a brilliant scissors paper to send Knuckles to the strike they set about achieving mediocrity. There were times when the score reached a lofty 110, but some crappy batting by Bukkake and a nice spooned dummy spit catch from Knuckles brought us back down to earth and we finished on 97. 3 dismissals each to the last pair.

To the field, and Herschelle opened the bowling with some beautiful dip and bounce and fizz and doos and ra, he had the batsmen running for cover like the Zimbabwean third eleven facing WaWa. Sticks and Big Al bowled without luck, and then along came Knuckles. Everyone knows Knuckles likes a Mankad, but we had to wait for the last ball of the over before the compulsory gold coin cha-ching would ring out after the non striker was caught out of his ground like a Bishop in a pre school. When you add the run out off the last ball bowled (giving -10 for one ball) Knuckles had sent down a -7 over and Da Famulee had the first skin and a 42 run head start on the last 12 overs.

The next 4 overs were like a bowling lesson, except that the lesson was taught to the batsmen, as first Boof, then Forrest, Schlang and finally Bukkake taught them how not to win a skin, even after being gifted 6 runs by Bukkake's inability to hit the strike zone (Cha Ching!!!). They were 25 as a team after 6 overs, still not quite halfway to Da Famulee's excellent first skin score. Could Bukkake break his duck? Or would it be something rhyming with that? 39 played 92 at the half way point, but Da Famulee only managed to add 7 runs in the latter stages.

More beautiful bowling by players decked out in purple, lime green and wife beater blue was evident in the second half. Knuckles caught one finally which ballooned off his thigh, some great takes (and "fine" misses) by Herschelle at the back and Sticks even caught one as well*. With 4 overs to go we were 47 runs to the good and the pizzas had to be ordered.

Bukkake bowled without luck and gave them a start, but the mopping up abilities shown by Schlang, Knuckles and Big Al were better than those required by Bukkake party hosts with lino floors. A resounding victory to propel the Famulee Juggernaut into the second round of catch up one off grading qualifying finals.

Up Yours,


*May not actually have caught any.

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