Kincaid Chronicle

13th May 2003

(Season 9 Game 2)

The crew gathered in the bar of Chateau Blardyfarken in full SARS kit for the second of the season nine grading games which pre-date the season proper but are still probably classed as a semi final in the loosest sense of the word. All nine players on the team sheet turned up on time so Forrest was deemed surplus to requirements (It's still his game though).

The toss was called correctly by the opposing captain in the absence of Bukkake and Da Famulee were sent in to bat. Highlights of the first pairing of Herschelle and Boof was the complete disinterest shown by the majority of the team, who stayed in the bar to see Knuckles' best Ted Danson impersonation, including the fielding of a phone call from none other than Kelly "Maltesers" O'Halloran and the serving of many beverages in a comical yet competent manner. Stories of Ingrid's bruises have been deemed unimportant and will not be reflected in this forum. The score sheet tells us that Herschelle and Boof got the team off to a steady yet mediocre start, with 26 runs from 4 overs. Highlights allegedly including a beautifully crafted -8 from three balls by Hersch in the 4th over and the complete absence of anything resembling a zac.

The Schlang and Muz show followed during overs 5 to 8, with Schlang finding it hard coming back from -14 after the first over. Muz slipped in a glorious bat throw late in proceedings when things didn't go his way, probably following one of his many run outs. The boys were consistent, with one of them posting a negative score in each of their 4 overs. At the half way point Da Famulee were struggling at 20. The kitty was loving Schlang very long time after a gold coin worthy -7.

Bukkake waited patiently for Knuckles to get something resembling dressed, and they took the court. Some ordinary bowling and fielding and a few threes, fours and a five later the score had respectableised itself at 58. Surely we couldn't post a defendable total from here. It should be duly noted at this point that the opposition fielded a player with the dubious title "Inzamam". Lionel Beggs is currently looking into the legalities of fielding such a player.

The bookies were all looking worried when WAWA spanked the first ball straight to the back net, but the odds soon shortened for a Famulee capitulation thereafter. Herc and WAWA put up a valiant effort but in the end it was more P76 Targa Floria than Valiant. After a blistering start (Forrest had most of the blisters) the last pairing didn't have the means to support the end and final overs of 6, 1 and -4 left Da Famulee holding the very familiar and now comfortable bag of not-enough-runs-and-no-bowling-talent.

Schlangy, looking beautiful in lime green locks and fresh from doing not much at all with the bat opened the bowling. How to describe the Famulee fielding? Too many dropped catches and not enough time to detail them all in an email.

And anyway, we only got hit for 14 zacs (none of which came off Da Skipper's effort at what could be called bowling).

A tidy line and consistent length by WAWA during the third pairing managed to restrict them to 51, which was still just enough for them to get the skin. Have we ever been pummelled so badly? Some would say you'd have to ask Forrest about vigorous pummelling, but I wouldn't say that. Has Bukkake won as captain? Don't be so ridiculous. Will we come back from here next week? Who cares, it's not be that will be to blame, Boof will have the cards out again.

'Tooth points:

3 Hercules   0.00
2 Bukkake -10
1 Muz -15
0 Schlang -64*

*Surely this is a record?
(Yes indeed it certainly appears to be.) Bukkake
Game Statistics
Previous Next