Kincaid Chronicle

Hayden takes time out to umpire local ICA game.

(Season 8 Game 8)

Partridge Famulee vs Tommos Tomatoes

At special invitation of Blardyfarken, and the promise of free haemorrhoid cream for 12 months, Matty Hayden rolled up to Weston ICA to officiate over what promised to be the game of the season. The Famulee in fine form, backing up from a 150+ win - it's first in many a season. As for the opposition......well, who cares, with 8 willing Famulee members more than happy to stay up in the bar drinking, another 8 were sucked into taking the field.

In fact it was Capt'n for the night Blue who made the unconvincing call to bat first. With Knuckles keen to get bat on ball first up, him and Bluey took to the field. With Knuckles falling for the oldest rock/paper/scissors trick in the book - don't show your hand until the other clown has, he was sent to the strikers end. However he was soon to get his own back with a sup-berb call for the non-existant second run - Blue finding himself in all sorts. After 4 overs of sheer pace (did these guys have a WaWaesque grenade thrower in their ranks?) and much swoshing, the pair walked off with a tidy 40 something runs on the board.

As true representation of too many beers on the weekend playing with the memory, next up was someone and someone. Followed by the pairing of him and him, with that bloke and the other bloke seeing out the final 4 overs. Highlights that still sit in the memory bank include:

Burkkake's silence shattering "Fwarp!" from the back of the court during a critical stage in the match; Herc's showing off his learnings from the "David Boon School of Beer Swilling and Sledging"; Matty Hayden's fine form in the umpire chair, which undoubtedly pushed his world umpire ranking into the top 10 The teams collective effort in sledging the bloke who runs the bar upstairs (dunno his name, so for this editorial, we'll call him Ralph); WaWa's fine return to limp wristed form; and The Famulee's effort on a whole to produce a fine return to mediocrity in posting a 16 over score of about 86.

With Boof volunteering to throw his arm over for the first over, he wore the brunt of the green hair for the first 4 overs. The opposition getting off to a good start only left room for Famulee Shenanigans to take place. Several bloopers ensured, with no-one really safe. Forrest copped his fair share of hard and fast fizzers fly past his feet with a few 'Harbour Bridge' calls being made. In fact all the good luck of the last week had disappeared completely. With Knuckles again being unlucky with the ball in his hands and WaWa being his usual non-existant self at close in, it was never going to be a winning night for the boys. With the temperature rising by the minute, the boys were more than keen to get up into the cool airconditioning of the upstairs bar (read as Ralph and his offsider waving a piece of paper up and down to move the air around). None more so than Muz - the back net job is touch at the best of time, but Muz copped it tonight. A couple of Harbour Bridges at the wrong time consigned him to green hair duties for the last 8 overs! A hell of an effort.

Anyway the opposition won - pricks - and the Famulee was left to ponder what might have been.............if they hadn't wasted the time and effort playing and actually did stay up in the bar. Possibly a little cooler, but probably a few extra $$$ poorer. Speaking of which Commissioner Herschelle was rubbing his hands together tonight, thanks to Muz and a few of the others for their efforts.

Onwards and Upwards!!!

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