Kincaid Chronicle

Tuesday 05/02/2002

(Season 6 Game 17)

"This room is full of c**kheads" was Reuben's post "post match speech" muttered under his breath as he left the room.

Reuben was not in a talkative mood after seeing his team defeat the top ranked side by 15 runs in a hard fought slog.

Reuben's mood was even more unbelieveable, as the team he manages forged a comfortable victory even with Terry "Peter Daicos" Dalkos making his debut in borrowed sandshoes, rushed to him 2 mins after game time had started.

The reason for Reuben's tempestuous mood swing and remarkable outburst came as Tony Blardyfarken and Wazza held an inquest into the opposition, and top side (and Gee dawg-less) Contented Soul, apparently throwing the game, assuring them an easy road to the grand final.

"Don't be f**king ridiculous" said the normal consumate professional when poised with the question. "Our boys fought hard to win that. They'd put in hours and hours upstairs and not to be outdone by a team named after a pub, were up to the challenge tonight. We're the Survivors of the competition. We outplayed, oustayed and outdrank!"

Contented Soul were not able to be contacted last night, causing match referees around the country to gasp at the thought "Max Fitching" may be rife and alive in Weston ICA.

Sent into bat on a dodgy pitch in fading light and with a new ball that was "decking around", the pairing of Boof and Forest opened up thanking Schlangy for their moment in the spotlight. They managed a convincing 39. Forest hitting one zak, Boof none.

Captain for the night, Schlangy and Herc went in second. When queried on Friday night about "who normally bats together", Herc replied "we do but we manage to run each other out all the time". And not to be shown up at over 30's night, Herc's words rang true as he and Schlangy managed to stop when they should've started, prodded when they should've pushed and thrusted when they should've parried. Herc made 1, Schlang 19. No zaks.

Clintus and new boy Terry "I can't bowl, I can't bat….." - yeh yeh Scotty Muller we know the rest………. - walked to the crease, Terry apologising for any wrongdoings he may do for the rest of his life. "I'm sorry to the Aboriginal people of Australia, I'm sorry to the Aboriginal people of Australia cos I once drew a picture of a kookaburra, even though the teacher thought it was a playtypus, I'm sorry for him thinking I'd drawn it wrong too" he concluded. The first ball Hersch was run out, Terry apologising for Clint not running fast enough. Terry swang and missed at his first ball, middled the second and third for twos, and then slapping the next for a zak. That's when it all went downhill fast! Next ball up, he was stumped and became the first Partridge Famulee team member to have his first wicket coinciding with skin taken from the elbow as he dived for the crease only to be an apology short.

Hersch finished with 17, Terry 12, Terry with one zak, Hersch none.

Knuckles (Peter) and Bung Knuckle (Gadj) started with a blaze of glory, Pete being bowled second ball. Not much of note occurred, Pete banging a zak toward the end and helping us on our way to 126 in total. 35 to Pete, 13 to Gadj. His 10th run bringing up 1000 Partridge runs.

A decent total to defend and with new boy Dalkos taking to the field with green wig we looked pretty confident - actually, we were laughing at Terry.

Herc opened up and those smirks that we started of wearing were gone. 16 off the the first. Schlangy looked long and hard around the court and noted Terry looking keen to have a trundle. So, with Terry doing the exercises normally associated with Merv and Bay 13, he grabbed the ball. Gadj and Schlang told him the rules, "bowl off the pitch and you get extra runs put on your score" and other confidence building info. Terry waltzed in, worse than Wa Wa and rolled the arm over. The spider webs creaked as the ball nuded it's way down the pitch. The batsman charges, runs straight past it and misses, Knuckles doing the rest. -5 after 1 Partridge ball! He should've quit while he was ahead. His over going for 13.

The first batting pair, despite Dalk's first ball, made 51. The second pair made 8 just as they threatened to get away from us. After Schlangy's first over of 13, they went for Clint -1, Knuckles 6 and Gadj -10 but the seed was sewn early in the overs. Boof fielding quietly at mid off collected a stirling straight drive onto the instep of his foot and somehow guided it into middle stump - at a 90 degree angle mind you. The batsman backed up and was run out. No need to appeal, more that the boys just stood there in disbelief.

The third pair was still in front of the eightball. The comparative score being 49 us, to 59 them after 8. The third pair made 14, an obvious highlight being a marvellous stumping by Knuckles in which the batsman danced down the pitch missing everything, Knuckles letting the ball hit the middle of his gloves, rebouding out and hitting the middle of off stump just catching the batter out of his ground. Knuckles I think was too embarrassed to even bother appealing. His gloves held up to his face, covering the entire moosh until the embarrassment was truly over. Terry -2 (yafukenwot?), Herc 10, Forrest 4, Hersch 6 were the major destroyers (can there be any others one asks??).

The last batting pair threatened to get away from us again but for some tight fielding. Schlang 8 (who dropped a dolly too!), Knuckles "I might stick to bowling JUST leg spin" (Ed - yeh mate, just pick one and stick to it!) 12, Boof welcomed back from a great effort with Binger for Australia, 11 and Gadj 7, including a "whoops" which nearly decapitated the batsman in the process.

We won and we got three skins.

Great win, great beer, great pizza.

New shirts next week boys. The camera will no doubt be out (hey Hersch, can you bring the camera out next week please) so bring out the wives and girlfriends if you're lucky enough to have both. Game time - TBA

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