Kincaid Chronicle

Two Big Cs are better than one!

(Season 26 Game 20)

Okay, so it’s probable that Reubs hasn’t permitted it previously, but in the interests of good criggit, Game 20 of Season 26 would see not one, but two, Big Cs of the Chickeny Duck Things (CDTs). Ground breaking? Possibly. Intuitive? Maybe. Mediocre? Most definitely!

G’day Famulee followers and welcome to the Chronicle known as “Two Big Cs and better than one”.

Yes, that’s right, for this game would see Forrest and Bush, in the true traditions of Father & Son, captain Da Famulee to victory. Okay, so saying we’re being Big Cs to victory may be a bit pre-emptive, but read on to find out if it’s true!

We gather at the House of Bloooodyfarkin, not that there’s any sign of Tawrny Bloooodyfaaarkin in person, for our 8:40pm game on the Wack-Aaaar. Probably a good thing to arrive before the new, new Midnight, as we were ready to start pretty much on time. There were the two Big Cs on board, along with Schlang and Herc, but no sign of Herschelle (with da sheeerz), T-Rex, Pabs and Mary. They would arrive, but at the risk of a cha-ching!
Our flop-position would be The Snickers, a side that Da Famulee had faced 5 times previously, for a record of 3 wins and 2 losses. Surely....???

Seeing as there were only 4 of us at the time of the coin toss, The Snickers kindly offered us to bat. Of course we’ll bat! As one of the 2 Big C’s, I (as in Forrest) felt obliged on behalf of Bush to instruct Schlang and Herc to be our opening batters. It’d be a while since we’d seen mediocrity but we were soon reminded on what a spectacle it is. According to the score sheet that never lies, there were plenty of 2’s and several dotties in the early stages of the innings before some woeful sways and easy catches resulted in both Herc and Schlang not quite putting on the scoreboard pressure they would’ve liked. Much like their respective AFL teams, Geelong and Sydney...they tried, still, they managed a tidy platform of 25 runs.

With a full complement of a team after 4 overs still to arrive, it’s up to the two Big C’s to take to the WACA and keep the tradition of fine Toozdae-ness. Well, that’s all fine and dandy in theory...but with Bush to face the Jackpot first ball, surely there were runs to be had and added...well, sadly, no, not quite, despite some fine lusty ladle swinging. While Bush was a sight to welcome back after a lengthy absence, clearly he was grasping at zackage possibilities. Forrest would also be denied. It’s was hard to zak it up for Forrest who ended up only facing 11 out of a possible 32 deliveries. Bush was farming the strike beautifully! So much so, that he failed to swing the bat at a delivery that was going down leg side, only to swing back late and ‘Cha-Ching’, it’s a LBW! Yes, the purple and lime green supporters (who had all arrived by this time) cheered on big time! Despite a few ‘outs’ for Bush, he still made a positive with the ladle and a ‘Moore Famulee’ partnership of 15 runs would be added to the scoresheet that never lies.

Mary and Herschelle would be our third batting pair. Looking fabulous in the Hawaiians that Hersch had arrived with by this time, Mary’s one and only mission was to get out there, smash to ball as much as possible, accumulate as many runs as possible, not get out as much as possible and sledge Sticks as much as possible. Sounds fair. After all, Mary’s sole purpose is to ensure Sticks doesn’t get the next Houndstooth. As Big C’s, we thought it fair enuff....

From Mary’s perspective, it wasn’t going to, plan. He faced the jackpot ball and got caught out going for the jackpot zak. Hersch got out a few balls later and after their first over, the scoreboard was ‘broken’. Oh dear, not quite what was planned. Well, except for The Snickers, who by this stage of proceedings, thought it quite comical that we would bag our own players on their misfortunes, ironically, with one of them commenting that we were “A bunch of c...”, (to which, we agreed and chortled).

The good news was that Hersch and Mary rallied beautifully, Mary knocking up 2 zaks and Hersch providing some of the best text book sway-age the game has ever seen, producing a partnership of 41 runs.

By the stage, Da Famulee had amassed 81 runs after 12 overs. Just another 4 overs to go...
Our final batting pair would be Pretty Eyes (ie T-Rex) and Pabs (ie Kleenex), and despite the matching tummies but differing footy allegiances, these two would produce our biggest batting partnership total of the night, a score of 53 runs.

With Pabs to face to jackpot ball, never before has the passionate Swan supporter put in such a fine first ball effort, a hit into the back half of the field and would you believe, a total of 8 runs off one stroke. Okay, so normally, it’s worth only 4 runs, but even so, the Afghanistan T20 team were expected to call to recruit! Seriously, it was a fine start by Pabs that would see him top score with 32 runs, admirably supported by Pretty Eyes with a zak and several efforts that would’ve been zaks had they been straighter! A terrific last partnership effort of 53 runs and Da Famulee would finish with a total of 135 runs.

As it turns out, a couple of milestones were achieved along the way. Pabs reaches 2,500 career runs, Mary hits a career 225 zaks, Pabs also makes 200 season runs and Pretty Eyes notches up 300 runs for the season. Great efforts and congratulations! Mind you, we’ve seen Herc reach a career run milestone , only to have him reach it again (and again, and again, and again....)

At the half way stage, the 2 Big C’s get together and discuss strategy. No, hang on, we talked about beers after the game and what sort of Captain’s fine we’d come up with. Having got the Captain’s fine sorted, we decide that the first four overs would be bowled by Herc, then Mary, followed by Pabs and then Pretty Eyes (aka T-Rex).

Herc collected a couple of wickets, Mary bowled without luck, Pabs got smacked a bit, and T-Rex did manage to contain it a bit, but we lost the skin despite our best efforts in the field. Actually, best efforts in the field is a loose definition to say we were crap and if mediocre had a definition and picture of this in the dictionary, we’d be a shoe-in for the photo! The Snickers first pair did well to score 50 runs.

As the second batting air come in, co-Big C, Bush, selects the next four bowlers. The order would be Schlang, then Bush, followed by Hersch and then Forrest (the other Big C). Bang-Schlang is off to a fine start collecting several wickets. Bush’s first delivery bounces several times down the pitch, ripe for the picking, but the batter gets himself out anyway (surely beaten by pace???), Hersch collects 3 wickets and then Forrest (stuffed back and all) picks up a couple of wickets just for good measure. We would win the skin.
The Snickers would prove to be a formidable side. Still, we were confident that we had the mediocrity to prove it otherwise.

Forrest, as co-Big C, would nominate T-Rex, Kleenex, Mary and Herc to bowl through the next lot of four overs. Alas, T-Rex got punished a tad, but Kleenex managed to pull it back a bit, then Mary mixed it up a bit with some spin, some fizz and a bit of heat, to no avail, before Herc (looking splendid in his Swans AFL top but knowing the Hawks would be a better match in the 2012 AFL Grand Final) came on and bowled a couple of fine dot balls in between a zak on the scoresheet that never lies.

It was getting close (kinda) as we came into the final 4 overs. The Snickers were 68 runs, still ‘plenty’ behind our total score of 135 runs, but as we know only too well, surely we couldn’t snatch defeat from the jaws of victory from here?

We were doing reasonably well in the field to this stage. Okay, so there were a few ‘cha-chings’ from dropped catches. Hersch and Herc the early candidates. Pabs did his best to apportion blame on his shoulder rather than his hands in one instance, and Bush was contemplating a re-draw on whatever bank loan he could muster after a zak parry into the back net and a dropped catch off his own bowling...Deary me! On a positive, Herc would muster a season milestone of 25 wickets.

It was getting tense in the field, but Hershcelle, as always covering the back net in fine style, would ensure that great catching would see Da Famulee come out victorious, despite Bush being zakked, Schlang being zakked, and Forrest going for three leg side wides (cha-ching) and a win would be the result. A win to the Partridge by 24 runs.

Oh, and a win to the kitty too, partly from the co-Captain’s fine, anyone not wearing Hawks footy guernsey. Afterall, it was the eve of the 2012 AFL Grand Final – surely showing the colours of the brown and gold was a given!

After the game, and much drooling over the scoresheet in the bar afterwards, Mary didn’t quite achieve his desire of getting the three ‘Tooth points to knock Sticka away from another Houndstooth, but he did manage two of the points. Herschelle would get the three points. Schlang and Forrest would tie for the one ‘Tooth point (if it’s possible – surely there’ll be a countback!).

Criggit was the winner.

Bush & Forrest – co Big C’s.

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