As your ‘Big C’ (aka YCFTN – Your Captain For The Night), Game 8 of Season 25 would be my first game on Season 25 (and I was after a way of getting myself onto the scoresheet that never lies) and my first game for a few months since declaring my body was a bit faaaaarked when it came to indoor criggit, but by advising my availability to Reuben early, I would front up to the House of Bloodyfaarkin on Toozdae the 10th of January 2012 for the first game of the New Year. I was also on some leave from the workplace, so I figured that if my body decided to seize again, at least I’d have a few days to recover before returning back to work.
Anyways, the first game of the New Year would see a few of the regular Chickeny-Duck-Things join with YCFTN for what always promises so much, but delivers very little. From a talent bank of promise, lusty swinging, questionable sekshooality and mediocrity, also selected would be Pabs, Sticks, Hersh, Marrsy, Boo-Cakes (looking splendid in the ‘Tooth jacket), Knuckles and Rocket. Now, YCFTN had not until this game, seen Rocket in action, but as was wearing a Wanderers shirt, that was credible for me!
We’d be on the SCG against Kerwins Mob, a side we hadn’t played against for a while, which seemed kinda weird, seeing as it feels like we play every side every 2 weeks! Not that I’d know of late. Being in ‘retirement’ does that to you...
As your ‘Big C’, the toss of the coin happens, they call “Heads”, I call “We’ll bat!” and as good fortune would have it, it lands as “Tails”, and so we’ll have a bat, just I said. But no-one ever listens!
Given Rocket was looking splendid in his Wanderers shirt, and knowing how passionate Knuckles is about the Wanderers, they would be our opening batters. Rocket lost out on ‘Scissors, Paper, Rock’ and would face the jackpot ball, and with Knuckles at the non-strikers end, it wouldn’t really matter where they faced the bowler in the first over, as Knuckles would be mandkat and Rocket would be run-out. And here was me thinking with a name like Rocket it would be for his bullet-like pace in all forms of the game, however, I was sadly mistaken. Their second over wasn’t much better as the scoreboard continued to be broken, but as overs 3 and 4 came round, Knuckles had seen enough of the ball to belt into the back net on the full for 2 zaks and Rocket was picking up a few 2’s and 3’s from the side nets. A partnership of 11 runs, 12 from Knuckles, which meant a minus 1 from Rocket and the sound of a ‘cha-ching’ for the kitty.
While all this excitement was going on, YCFTN has decided that the second batting pair would be himself with Sticks, then it’d be Marrsy and Pabs, with the 4th pair of Herschele and Bukkake.
With YCFTN losing the ‘Scissors, Paper, Rock’ routine and being told to “Get down there bitch” for the jackpot ball, it would be an easy return on the body, well, that was the plan. A cautious start by YCFTN in the first over, while Sticksy was showing some fine one-handed dabbage into the side nets. Well, the one-handed dabbage is perhaps an exaggeration, but we all know we’ve come to expect this. As the partnership progressed, there were a few calls of “Yes, Nooooooooooo! Oh phark!” which actually turned out alright, including a zak to YCFTN and then one to Sticka, using the top net beautifully on both occasions. Despite losing a wicket each, YCFTN and Sticka’s partnership would be 51 runs, 28 to the ‘Big C’ and 23 to Sticks.
After 8 overs, Da Famulee were on 62 runs.
Next pair of Pabs and Marrsy (who was known as Pies/Pres on the scoresheet that never lies – it was a bit difficult to see – what was Andy the umpire thinking?) head out with Marrsy to face the jackpot ball. Like previous jackpot balls, there was no bat on ball, but they soon managed to push and craft something that resembled ‘cricket’ and get the scoreboard ticking over. Despite a small stumble on the scoreboard during their third over together where it was broken (again), Pabs managed to dab his way around the SCG magnificently, including occasionally into the back half of the court, while Marrsy did his best to not get out, but did get out. It would be a partnership of 4 runs. Pabs in the positive, Marrsy in the negative (and cha-ching).
It would be up to our last pair of Bukkake and Herschele to build another platform if we were to have a respectable score and for YCFTN to be the most winningest Captain of 2012! We were not disappointed. While Hersch played some fine strokes to the side nets, it would be Car-Keys who would swing hard with the bat to all parts of the SCG, racking up 2 zaks against his name. Yes, 2 zaks compared to Sticksy’s 1 zak for the night, as Car-Keys reminded him from one side of the nets to the other at the time of the second zak being recorded. The scoreboard would not be flashing (or broken) while these two were together, amassing a partnership of 57 runs, 37 to Milwaukee’s and 20 to Hersch, and helping Da Famulee reach a total of 123 runs. One of the highlights here was Herschele’s 100 season runs. (He needed 14 runs to get it)
Now, the T-20 Big Bash has been running over the summer of 2011/12 and clearly their inspiration was drawn by the outstanding efforts of the Purple & Lime Green, so it would come as no surprise that the stat of Big Bash sides that batted first went onto win (mostly) and YCFTN was confident that this trend would occur here. To make matters a tad more interesting, each batting pair would then be the bowling pair in the effort of defending their own runs. It also meant that whoever faced the jackpot ball when batting, the other would bowl a jackpot ball. This way, everyone gets a turn at a jackpot opportunity.
So, given Rocket and Knuckles were our first batting pair, they would then defend their skin by bowling the first four overs, with Knuckles to lead off. Should’ve been a wicket first up, but a dropped catch by YCFTN would only result in a cha-ching, but YCFTN made up for it next delivery with a run out. Unfortunately, with Knoo-Clays bowling some nice dip and fizz type deliveries, he resorted to a mandkat (and subsequent cha-ching) to keep the Kerwins Mob score down. Rocket also chipped in well with some fine, if slowish, deliveries and let the field do the work, including a screamer of a one-handed catch from Hersch to prevent a zak. After 4 overs, Kerwins Mob were on 23 runs and Knuckles and Rocket had failed to defend their skin.
Sticks and YCFTN were up next to defend their skin, which we did, but only just. A few close chances went begging, the kitty would become a bit fatter from fines, including a parry off Herschele’s attempted catch, and 3 wides from YCFTN. Another highlight of the night here would be Sticksy reaching a career highlight. He needed 2 wickets to reach 750 career wickets and he managed the 2 wickets required.
With Pabs and Marrsy to defend their skin, it would be Pabs to bowl the jackpot ball, and while it wasn’t dispatched into next week, between them, they bowled without luck, as wickets went begging. As a result, the scoreboard kept ticking over and was looking like it’d catch our score before too long. A partnership of 46 runs from Kerwins Mob meant Marrsy and Pabs didn’t defend their skin and their score had moved to 111 runs. We were only leading by 12 runs with 4 overs remaining. Surely....
With Boo-Cakes to bowl the jackpot ball, it was a delivery that resulted in a run out. It was a close call but in the end, the umpire raised the finger and the scoreboard would go backwards by 10 runs. It would also go forwards for Butt-Cheeks by 7 runs – that’d be a zak – but with Hersch keeping it tight and difficult for the batters to get a score, there’d be plenty of dot balls between them. Knuckles was doing a fine job behind the stumps, encouraging both Hersch and Bukkake that he’d eventually glove one (which he did with a beautiful stumping), that as we came down to the last few deliveries, it would be a huge effort if Kerwins Mob were going to get up, but our scoreboard pressure was too much in the end. That, and Knuckles had already impersonated a couple of ‘Sydney Harbour Bridge’ type fielding efforts that putting himself behind the wickets was always going to be a better option. Hersch and Mallarkies defend their skin and Da Famulee have their first victory for the New Year and YCFTN is the most winningest ‘Big C’ (so far) for 2012. Hurrah! Victory by 5 runs.
With much celebrating after the game, the studying of the scoresheet and subsequent paying of much fineage, there was the Captains fine just to add to the excitement. As YCFTN observed during our time in the field, all 8 Partridges were wearing the Hawaiian, however, 2 wearers of the Hawaiian, YCFTN and Marrsy, had not done the buttons up on their shirts, wearing it openly and proudly showing their allegiance to the Hawthorn footy club. As a result, the Captains fine was for those Chickeny-Duck-Things who had done their buttons up. There were an instant 6 goldies and an equally instant 6 “Phaaaark off!”
It was good to be back in the fold of the purple and lime green, however, the body is not what it once was. The twinge of the left hamstring was a ‘gentle’ reminder, but despite that, a great team effort by all.
The curse of the ‘Tooth Jacket wasn’t playing a role for this game, as current holder Boo-Cakes was amongst the ‘Tooth points, as was Sticks and Hersch.