Kincaid Chronicle

Bang Schlang BDay

(Season 23 Game 20)

It must have been near on an eternity since I was last named the big C.
So, having walked upstairs to the bar a full half hour before our scheduled
game, it was a nice surprise to find out that I had been named so.
There was plenty of time for at least one beer, and heaps of time to concoct some sort of stragedy. Turns out that it was Schlangy's B'Day too.
Hmm, how can we best wish him a Happy B'Day?
The crowd got all excited about the prospect of starting the game before
pretty eyes had turned up. Everyone rushed down the stairs and while all
insisted that we must bat, I mused that I would like to chase a score for a
change. We'd had four straight wins and maybe it was time to change tack.
While I was looking, looking, looking for a coin, the opposition's big C was at the ready with one he'd prepared earlier. I called heads and that's what happened. To everyone's puzzlement, I said that we would bat. I still had half a beer to get through, you see. Priorities me old chap. That's what it's all about.

Needing a good platform if we were to win a fifth game straight, I anointed
Herca and Schlang as the opening pair. Alas, Pretty Eyes had walked in,
while neither player had managed to enter the court.
Herca started with a dot off the zakpot ball, followed by a finely crafted
caught off the second. With a final partnership score of 32, Herc presented
Schlang with the largest part of the scoring pie for his B'Day, by limiting
his own score to 7.

Cakes and Skip went in next, and I was almost finished with my beer, so I
started to warm up. No score off the zakpot ball again, but a major stitch
up saw Skip getting run out courtesy of a loud 'yes' emanating from Cakes'
other orifice. Final partnership of 27, almost evenly split, except that
they don't hand out half points in this game so, 13 to Skip and 14 to Boo.

So, I take with me the one man who can score zaks. Not at will, mind you.
But, when he manages to get enough bottom hand action (stop sneering Cakes)
he infallibly squirts a zak every now and then...sometimes. Oft chance, the
umpire may be unable to tell whom the zak scorer was, especially when I run
so fast that all he sees is a blur, and he awards me a Jimmy Zak. Not to be this time, as Sticks keeps his zakomatic holstered until the last ball is about to be bowled. Zak and run out the door with a partnership score of 26. Eight to me without a zak in sight.

Final pair of Pretty Eyes and Forrest goes in and I'm thinking that if we
can get somewhere near 100 we may have something to defend. Currently on a
team score of 85. The boys didn't disappoint, scoring three zaks each, they nearly doubled our score to go past 100. Final score of 157. Forrest
finishing with 6 runs more than half of Pretty Eyes score of 44.


With Bette Davis (Eyes) still trying to catch his breath, I suggested that
he have a bowl. Despite cries of 'you must be kidding' he complied and gave
away 17. I thought that I couldn't do any worse, so I had a go. Carted for 22. Sticks didn't do much better with 21. With 14 off his bowling, Herca was our least expensive bowler. First partnership score of 54 and things were looking onimous. Schlang started to warm up.

Forrest (11), Skip (8) and Car-keys (9) slowed the opposition's scoring rate a tad. Schlang looked at me, I asked if he had bowled yet, and then I went off to bowl my second over for a less expensive 10. Schlang continued to warm up.

Sticks (8), Car keys (7) and Herc (6) ensured that the next bowler had to
give away less than 6 runs to save the skin. Less than 5 to win it. So,
Skip got hit for five and we didn't lose the skin, nor did we win it. We'd
have to rely on winning the next skin to win the last one...wait, what?

With Schlang madly flapping his arms, in an attempt to catch my attention,
and the opposition needing 40 runs to win, I asked Forrest to bowl the first over of the last partnership. 11 runs later, I asked Schlang to bowl. I was sure his bowling arm would be well and truly warmed up by now. Despite getting zaked in his third ball, Schlang produced a magnificent spell to only give away 1 measly run. Pretty Eyes bowled next, and despite seeing him being hit for 7 runs, I was confident that the Birthday Boy would bring us home. Schlang started badly, bleeding runs with every one of his first four balls. Team Marcus had got themselves to within 14 runs of winning this game. Fortunately for us, Schlangy-Birthday-to-you bowled two beauties which resulted in a run out and a caught. So, with the Duckworth-Lewis calculations not having a smidgen of an effect on this game, a zak and a two-runs-scored off the final two balls, left the opposition 14 runs short of our score. Well done Schlang, bringing us home on his Birthday !!!

Five wins in a row, and I thought that the Big C's fine should be
commensurate with the, anyone who turned up before the start
of the game coped a fine. The Big C and the Birthday Boy coped it too.
Well done lads, suuurely we can win a sixth game in a row.

By the way, did I mention that it was Schlang's Birthday?
Until next week, this is Kleenex, YCFTN signing off.

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