Kincaid Chronicle

One in the Bush

(Season 23 Game 12)

Greetings Partridges,

It is with great honour that I, Bush, also known as YCFTN, present the first ever Bush-Themed Chronicle for 2011, with (hopefully) incredible amounts of mediocrity and gayness on what could only be described as a typical excellent (gay) game for this prestigious (farrrrkeeeeedddd) club.

YCTFN started the night off to a bad start losing the toss, which landed us batting to begin the game. As I went upstairs, and with my new-found captain powers, I gave Herc and Bukkake the news that they were in fact the first pair to step up to the crease, in a hope of setting up a "platform" for the rest of us to work off. They did not seem exactly thrilled with my decision, as I received some words involving the use of "The Big C".

After their four overs, this "platform", so to speak, consisted of a total of 17, with Herc making 30 of those runs with some finely crafted zakkage, whilst Bukkake contributed a modest minus 13 to the total. Surely this platform could carry us through?

Next up was the father and son duo of Forrest and Bush. With Forrest facing the jackpot, and in typical Partridge fashion of mediocrity, Forrest somehow manages to be bowled, breaking the scoreboard as well as resulting in a hefty minus 10 to kick the partnership off. It all ended up with a total of 7, with Forrest scoring all 7 of those runs, whilst I made neither a positive or negative with a magnificent zero, but manage to show Dad how to hit the back net and score a zak on the scoresheet that never lies!

Following the duo was Conan and Schlang, hoping they could do better than the mediocrity seen in the partnerships before. With a partnership of 17 and 18 for each respectively, and a skin of 35, things seemed to be coming up Partridge. Conan never quite got the ball to come off the bat as he’d like, while Schlangy managed to keep the zakkage ticking over nicely.

Final pair of Jacko and Pabs went out to build on this “platform” and before they faced a ball, they spent what seemed like an eternity playing ‘paper, scissors, rock’ – it would be Jacko to face the first ball, a delivery he looked like letting go, but at the last moment, threw the bat at it and a jackpot zak was the result. That’d be twice in two games for the big lurch. Pabs, of course, just dabbed away, and even as I hadn’t seen him bat in a while, nothing’s really changed.

A good effort by the end of 16 overs given the circumstances, and us Partridge’s had 78 runs as we changed from batters to fielders.

Being YCFTN allowed for some tactful planning when it came to bowling, and unbeknown to Dad (Forrest), I finally had a chance to make him bowl overs 1 and 16. while mixing it up amongst the other Partridges.

A cautious start from Forrest, then Herc, followed by Schlang and then Conan, with those pretty eyes! It wasn’t a good 4 overs, as we lost the skin (convincingly). In fact, as the Modern Gurus had almost gathered in our combined total, I was thinking about asking for the ‘Mercy Rule’ and a quick retirement to the upstairs bar.

Time to bring on the big guns, well, kinda big guns. You can only work with what you’ve got! Pabs would lead off to their second batting pair, followed by Bukkake, YCFTN and then Jacko. Pabs did well to get a wicket with his second delivery, only to be punished 2 balls later with the ball cracked back over his head into the back net. Bukkake was on a hat trick at one stage (but we were never going to let him get it with our hands in pockets) and helped to wind the score back. YCFTN had them bamboozled, particularly with a magnificent catch by YCFTN, which consisted of Bukkake dropping the ball, followed by a parry with the hands, then a kick which sent the ball straight up. It almost looked like a cha-ching, but I managed to save it. Jacko had plenty of dot balls with his stylish style, but it wasn’t enough to win the skin.

The next four overs consisted of Bukkake, Conan, Pabs again, as well as Jacko. Bukkake managed to bowl a no ball on the jackpot, while both Conan and Pabs each had un-partridge-esque (good) overs with a -1 and 0 respectively. Jacko, once again, had plenty of dot balls, the only difference here was that we were able to win the skin. It should also be noted that Bukkake attempted a mandkat during this piece of play and for his efforts, “Cha-Ching” was heard across the WACA. “Cha-Ching” was also to be heard after the game as it was alleged that he failed to cough up his goldie for the mandkat. Apparently someone doesn’t now the rules!!!

Coming into the home straight we had Herc, YCFTN, Schlang, and Forrest leading the charge. It was clear by this stage that the “platform” had failed us, as they were already ahead by 8 runs. Surely we couldn’t snatch victory from the jaws of defeat? It wasn’t to be however. Herc was only letting 4 runs be added, much the same for YCFTN, Schlang bowled a tighter over and despite Dad (Forrest) having the 16th and final over, we were never in the hunt and would go down by a margin of 31 runs.

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