Kincaid Chronicle

Kincaid's Chronicle 30/11/10

(Season 23 Game 8)

Gidday Chickeny Duck THings.

Car Keys here, also known as YCFTN in the last game of November and the first game in the bewdiful new Hawaiians which are surprisingly cool when worn off the shoulder, err I mean with nothing underneath.

As the captain on this momentous night I suggested upstairs in the bar that we each pull one button off the new shirts and eat it as a team bonding experience, but my suggestion was shouted down with cries of "We'll bat" as Waz was wandering off the court. I went downstairs and advised him of such, and then returned upstairs to send in Schlang and Herschelle as Sticksy had pulled a last minute mno-show and wouldn't be opening (cha ching!!!).

A fairly mediocre (well done) performance saw Schlang get a solid 19 in a partnership of 16, with Herschelle correctly guessing his negative at the changeover of innings (cha ching!!!). Surely it was all uphill from here?

Forrest joined me, YCFTN at the crease for the second pair. Forrest cracked an early zak out of the middle, YCFTN managed two (suuurely overtaking Mary for 5th place on the all time zak list) and Forrest kept it real, playing a mediocre (well done) supporting role in a partnership of 33, of which YCFTN got a solid 33. It appears the hill was indeed shaping as in the upwards direction.

Jacko would accompany Herc to the crease next, and in the tradition of hotel rooms being booked in his name and such things, Jacko would "face up" to the first ball. As usual (or so I'm told) Herc peaked early and was mankad' (or is it mankaded? mankad'd? mankadeded?) off the jackpot ball. Which turned out not to be a ball. Or did it? Anyway, the score sheet never lies, I just can't tell what it's trying to say to me about all this. They took the total from 49 to 38 in truly mediocre (well done) style in the first over.

Jacko did manage to cut loose in the second over, swinging hard and long and straight (calm down Herc) and going zak to zak to zak in three balls, then getting out twice to end the over with much mediocrity (well done). The boys had amassed 7 runs in two overs, and not much happened from there in, apart from Herc zakking it up and a few other things. 24 from them, and 73 to the Partridge.

Cali would go out last, and as the opposition didn't really seem super keen to select a batter I told Jacko to stay there in the hope that he could get 5 or 6 more zaks and take Sticksy's record in his absence. It seemed fitting for this club to do all it can to dud team members who aren't there to defend themselves.

So anyway, out they went, and Jacko faced up for maximum use of the strike, and lo and behold a jackpot zak. Cries of "THREE TO EQUAL!!!" and text messages to Sticks were flying around like flies near an old sheep's arse. Suuuuurely he could do it from here. Another zak in the 14th over, and it was only two to equal. The team score was on 90, and there were still 22 balls to be faced, with Jacko needing two zaks to stay on a record equalling 8 with Sticks. There were run outs a plenty, with Jacko being run out sneaking a second, but successfully making it back to being on strike. A thundering zak off the 5th ball of the 15th over put him in position, and though he faced four balls of the last over he was unable to crack it for a zak and the captain's fine was decided, anyone who didn't hit 8 zaks would be fined. Bad luck Jacko.

The highlight for mine of our fielding performance was not one of us, it was one of the Warnies fielding on the SCG. Schlang (I think) bowled a wideish delivery to John Kerwin, who played a textbook sweep/pull which thundered into the butt of the Warnie fielding in the front court next door. It made a popping sound like a ripe indoor cricket ball bouncing off a firm butt cheek, or so Jacko and Herc told me after the game. There was much hilarity that ensued, and I did lol from behind the stumps (so to speak).

For those of you interested in our performances, you really need to get a life, but we had Jacko with 7 zaks, YCFTN top scoring with 33, and Herc taking 4 wickets. Tooth points went to Herc (3), YCFTN (2) and Jacko (1). Congratulations also to Jacko for hitting 7 zaks and ending up with negative net worth. That takes real skill, perseverance, training and mediocrity (well done).

Signing off,

Car Keys

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