Kincaid Chronicle

18 May 2010

(Season 22 Game 9)

18 May 2010 - The Day We Thought We'd Win...

So up rolled 6 of us to the house of blardyfarken, and with the addition of two ring ins and the subtraction of Cali and Bevo we had a nett 8 players. Suurely this would be enough to ensure that we'd bat? You'd think so wouldn't you, so off went Harry and Kleenex to open. Kleenex was already making excuses for his batting and our performance in general, which didn't bode well. Couple that with him not bringing enough of his allowance to shout anyone a beer and it sounded even worse. Nevertheless Harry and Pabs proceeded to build a platform, with only one wicket falling in the opening pair, and them putting on 45, of which Kleenex scored 18. Something about Harry being too heavy to carry was heard as they walked off.

Conan and Bukkake were up next at the suggestion of someone, and with Conan leading off with a jackpot zak things were looking OK. Bukkake managed a zak in his second over faced, and by the time they had faced two overs they had 55 on the board, and there were thoughts of a century stand.Anyhow, with one ball to go, and the ton in sight, Conan has a brain explosion thinking it was the last ball and runs himself out. Bukkake can only manage a dot ball to finish, and they finish with 90. Suuurely we couldn't lose it from here, with 135 totalled after half our batting.

Canada and Herc were up next, and despite calls to crowd the plate and hit to right field Canada kept stepping away and missing. He only managed to get out once however, and how has a new career high batting score of 20. Big ups for Canada!!! Herc was the senior partner with 29 and we were cruising at 184 after 12.

In strode the two new Christian-Sourced-Recruits in James and Chris, and they had the scoreboard flashing in over 15 but recovered to leave us on a scoreboard indicated 198 (but which is it that never lies)?


Bowling highlights were losing the first skin (62 to 45), getting the second (59-90), losing the third in a close one (53-49) and it all coming down to the final four overs. Kleenex will give you a multitude of reasons why we had failed up to this point, he's more thorough in his dissection of a loss and blame absolvence than those idiots in that stupid "On The Couch" AFL show. Fair dinkum the way those blokes rabbit on it's a surprise that the couch hasn't committed suicide having to listen to that week in week out. That stupid bloke with the grey hair and glasses, I mean come on, does anyone care what you say mate? The answer starts with enn oh. No.

So it was left to Harry, Chris, Conan and Bukkake (YCFTN) to defend the last skin and keep that mob to less than 25 (or so we thought) to get a win with nearly 200 on the board. I can't remember a struggle like this since I saw those parents down at Tuggeranong Lake with their redheaded infant that time... Anywho, off went Harry, keeping the other mob to a double dot jackpot ball, then a runout with the pressure of third ball, a two, a leg side, and a few singles. Us 198 (or so we thought), them 175. Chris bowled tightly and managed a stumping off his last pill to make it us 198, them179. Still 18 to play with (or so we thought) and two overs to go. Conan got himself spanked (I'm sure he turns up on Toosdays because $13 is a cheaper spanking than anywhere in the seedy district) for two back net 5s among other things, and all of a sudden it was 197 (them) 198 (us(or so we thought) and it was all down to the last over antics of YCFTN Bukkake, McCardle, Cum Junkie, Car Keys, Bikarki etc. etc. Dot. Dot. Wuuuuuuuuun (no, Wazza was next door on the SCG). Dot. Calamity written on the scoresheet as hit wicket. Them 193, us 198 (or so we thought, did I mention that?). Three balls left, five runs up our sleeve. One. Another one. And it's all down to the last ball, with them needing three to tie (or so we thought) or 4 to win (or so we also thought still). Anyway, the ball is hit firmly back down the pitch, Canada misfields it and much to Kleenex's dismay it tumbles into the side net for three with us unable to run them out in the confusion. It's a tie (or so we thought). So we get the yellow copy of the scoresheet (which doesn't lie) and the batting and bowling figures haven't been tallied, and as everyone knows it's not about whether we win or lose but about individual stats, glory and performance. The sum of all the parts makes about 40% of a team on most nights and all that.

So Christian says "I'll do all that, you go and have a beer" so I did, and when he brought it all upstairs it appeared as though we'd finished second, as we were 197 after our second last ball, and then a dot ball for the last ball put us to 198 FFS. So we lost. Conan did get another 50, but butchered another hundred stand with yours truly. Dammit.

No one took more than one wicket, Canada managed 7 extras (ouch) and Conan scored 58. Tune in next week at the same farking time of approximately 8.10pm to see how big a lead we can butcher and who Kleenex will blame it on this time.

YCFTN signing off.

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