Kincaid Chronicle

11 May 2010

(Season 22 Game 8)


Welcome to yet another chronicle where I will apply my best fuzzy logic to reassemble our performance (or lack thereof) from last night.

First off Harry and Mary decided they would mno-show along with Cali, so we were looking down the barrel of going from 10 to 7. We decided to bat after the token coin toss and I got on the blower to Mary and told him to hurry up and scoff his whale nad steak on a bed of rocket with Paris Hilton jus and get his arse and his front arse here.

The first platform builders with bats in hand were Conan and Forrest, who were going along nicely until the last over where a bit of a capitulation from Conan saw the boys take the ring in conglomerate known as I Slog for 11, 20 (featuring a back to back hacking zak attack which was really wack), 7 and 1. a solid platform of 39. Surely Schlangy and Canada would be able to dismantle this and provide something not even close to defendable when it came our time to field?

Well the boys did their best, with Canada continuing to swing to left field a la Herc, and some sky balls and a tidy last over where Canada only faced one ball (lucky you Schlangy) left them on 9, with Canada deconstructing a beautiful innings of -3, getting out three times. Cha... ching...

The dabbage brothers were in next, with Collateral Dabbage (aka Kleenex) and Hail Dabbage (Bevo) dabbing the ball around to all parts of the front court. Let the record show that of the 32 balls they faced there were 8 dot balls, 6 ones, 5 twos, 9 wides, 2 catches, 1 runout, 1 stumping (and a Chickeny Duck Thing in a pear tree). Notice anything? The complete absence of any back court action? These guys avoid the back court better than a greek hooker on $10 special night. Anyway, Hail Dabbage managed a negative (chaching) which he failed to guess correctly and Pabs dabbed his fab abs to a +19 (from 16 balls faced).

Last in were the recently arrived and fed and watered Mary and YCFTN Poo Cakes. YCFTN managed two zaks, a runout off a further back net hit, and the top score of 33, ably assisted by Mary in a supporting role with 7 (including no zaks and a severely slapped buttock). Da Famulee had 102 on the board, suuu shuup suuurely they couldn't defend that???

YCFTN took the new pill and led off with one wicket in an over yielding 6. No catches. Canada, Forrest and Schlang followed trying to get a first skin of 39 and the four of us combined to fail at this, Forrest and Schlang going for 21 and 22 respectively, with no catches being taken. There may have been a parry in there somewhere or something similar.

Conan, lil' Dabber, other lil' Dabber and Forrest followed up by letting them also get the second skin (38 to 9) and they were only 10 runs away from a memorable wicktory. Someone actually took a catch off Bevo in the sixth over though, and there were a few other wickets in there too.

Mary, Canada, Schlabangabang and Bevo attacked the third skin (14) like a rottweiler on a redheaded preschooler, and with some luck, some dip, some fizz and only one zak conceded we tied this skin, even restricting one of their batsmen to -1. We were in the pretty shithouse position now of being 5 runs behind with four overs to play. Suuuuuuuuuuuurely...

Conan bowled out taking no wickets and going for 14. 19 runs behind now. Kleenex had 8 more pies to give and got zakked twice. Partridge 102 Ringins 139. Still in it. Just. Mary came back on and jagged a couple of runouts, going for -2. Partridges now needed seven wickets in the last over to tie, and 8 to win. And it all came down to YCFTN with the final 8 pills. Ball one gets cracked to the back net on the full. YCFTN hadn't even finished questioning Mary's sexuality when the aforementioned Mary flings the ball at the back stumps and effects a magnificent runout. 6 to tie, 7 to win. Two dot balls follow (boooooooooooooooooooo). A run out. a dot ball. A catch (to Forrest fuggit). Another dot ball and a runout. Four wickets fell short of the required seven and Da Famulee had put in a good run down the final furlong to finish second.

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