Kincaid Chronicle

A Missing Chronic All

(Season 21 Game 6)

On the 20th of October 2009, eight men approached the rough-hewn, red-brick edifice, recently damaged by local utilities workers seeking an alleged leak. Well, when I say eight men, I mean the eight people randomly selected by virtue of not having another excuse to be doing something else. The first sentence could also infer that said eight men approached the building at roughly the same moment, but in fact, some were early, some late, though they were careful enough to make sure it was prior to the formal beginning of the “GAME”.

I personally have no recollection of the evening at all. I was surprised to see that not only had I played a game with Jacko earlier in the season that is, but in fact I was el Capitano too. The only game I recall playing with Jacko in recent memory was only a week ago, so I will try not to describe that night as Forrest has already regaled us with his “version of events”.

The score sheet indicates we were adjudicated by Wazza and a newbie, I do actually remember that bit. It would seem from the score sheet, that not only did he speak softly, but also writes softly. In lieu of being able to read bits, I will make them up, along with the rest of the bits of the evening. I do recall teaching the young fella how to correctly say WWWWUUUUUUUNNNNNN, though he got the context wrong and called it when there was only 1 ball remaining in an over, instead of celebrating the score made after someone heaved and smashed the ball…. To a fielder.

Anyway…. To the “GAME”…..

We played a team called I Slog…. And I would appear to have won the toss, as we batted first, as is right, as should be, as always ought to be. Opening the inning was Harry and Herschelle. The boys getting off to a good start, in as much as no one got out, up until the fifth ball of the third over. Each of them just turning it over and scoring steadily.

Ironically, the first zac appears at the fourth ball of the third over… is there something about us trying to push the score along. Unfortunately for these two that was the only zac…. And until Harry managed to get out off the last two balls of the inning, it didn’t matter. Da Famulee at 48 runs after four overs.

Forrest and Jacko next up, a few more wickets through the inning, but a few more zacs too, two each in fact. The final score for these two is 42, though seemingly carried by Forrest who has gathered 31 of those.

The third pairing was Pablo & I… and this is where the umpires swapped over, so the description will be even more brief….. there was a small yellow thing flung in my direction a few times, it would seem I hit it once or twice, maybe missed it just as often. I think Pabs put on a maw-sterly dabbage display again, only running me out once and carrying me for the rest of the inning, making 22 of our total of 31.

I put Schlangy into bat with Bev-wah. Was the folly of splitting the Bevo and Pabs pairing proved here, with Bevo making a minus 10. Or was this the beginning of a form slump that saw Bevo remove himself from selection later in the season? Whatever the cause, a couple of caught, a run out and a stumping saw the score sheet registering a dismal eight runs total at the end of four overs. Schlangy out once, zac once for a total of 18.

Now was the time for the traditional second inning… where upon, in accordance with tradition after each player has had an opportunity to shine with the bat, they prove their worth further with their athleticism in the field and blistering pace with the ball in hand. Alas, none of that would prove to be realised.
The oppositions first paring, including the traitorous Conan representing I Slog, proved their name to be more than a catchy phrase…. Taking Harry, Herschelle, Forrest and I for plenty, a total of 70 and the first skin comfortably in the bag. Only two wickets being taken, a run out and a cha-ching for Herscelle, successfully imitating that great India all-rounder of 1946 - 59, Mulvantrai Himmatlal (Vinoo) Mankad.

At this stage, defending 133, normally a reasonable total, we were already looking a little unlikely, their first pair making more than 50% of the required runs.
I turned to Schlangy to lead off against the next pairing. Jacko, Bevo and Pabs backing him up. About the best that can be said, is we got the skin….. 28 from one of the pair and a minus seven from the other. I Slog now at 91, but two points on the board for the Partridge Famulee. Pablo by far the most successful bowler so far, with a -17 off his over of dip, spin, fizz, flight, pace variation, line and length changes, the full bag of mixed lollies having the batsmen befuddled.

The next pairing weren’t able to do too much against the total awesomeness that is Da Famulee in full flight either. Another skin, another two points to the chicken duck things. Schlangy and Herscelle amoung the wickets here, Schlangy with a negative nine off his second over. The paring making a total of 15 and now all of a sudden, after the first pair making more than 50% of the required score….. we had a game on our hands. One pair still to come, 27 runs required to draw, 28 the win.

An up my sleeve, I still had the boy wizard (is that a wizard’s sleeve reference by accident??), Bevo and myself to bowl and of course, the bloke who had dazzled the second pairing, taking 4/-17 was Pabs.

Harry leads off… 1 run out, no zacs, six runs taken…. They need 22 runs, we need to deliver 24 balls (approximately).

Bevo next. Another run out. Again no zacs, five runs taken and eight balls legitimately delivered. They need 17, we need to bowl 16 deliveries.

Pabs the destroyer I decide can have the last. El Capitano chooses the penultimate over. Yet another run out, yet again no zacs and for even more repetitive boringness they only score five runs.

The equation is now an agonising 12 runs required off eight legitimate deliveries.

Pabs runs in for his first …… ZZZZAAAACCCCCC…….

The final figures….. well Pabs got hit for two zacs in total in this over, but there was yet another run out, in fact two of them made by the fielding team….. the batters made….. 10……. Second last ball….. NB, two runs to the batting side, then they dot up the last ball.

Da Famulee lose by one stinkin’ run!

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