Kincaid Chronicle

Scratching around

(Season 20 Game 20)

With an impending lack of a quality* team for the night, YCFTN wildly sent out texts to all and sundry attempting conjure up two more players to make up the numbers. Pissant excuses like: I am sulking and not playing, I’m sure from a jog in the city to sure, past my bed time, I get out of bed at sparrows fart and can survive on a mere four hours sleep after playing indoor, I am working, I’ll get back to you… and never did…. Etc
Thankfully Texas took up the call of wild** and Mary hobbled into the line up to make a motley eight.

YCFTN attended the House that is Blardyfarkens and realised another flogging was on the way after seeing that da famulee was up against the Lanka Lions (aka Why Wouldn’t Cha). YCFTN the night was thinking of doing a Knuckles and fielding first, thought better of it and asked the lions what they preferred to do, in some vain effort to illicit sympathy and not flog us by miiions of runs again. They chose to field first and da famulee once again took to the batting arena. See it all works out in the end, just don’t involve the umpire.
Now, who to bat first, well since Hersch and Forrest had no beers in their hands… off they toddled, with the sounds of “this club is f@r.....” and other Choice Unique Nineties Terms. (why the capitals ed? You will learn young padawan duck thing.)

Let us just say the first over was the best of the night and it was all down hill from there. Jackpot no ball 5 feet above Hersch’s head started the innings, a few easy runs then the bowler decided he wanted some action and bowled a little loose and Hersch let loose and smashed him to the bat net. Not to be outdone the bowler then bowled in the exact same spot for Forrest who also set it crashing into the back net for a Zak. Count two zaks, ah ah ahhh. Sensing a bouncer coming Hersch decided to just swing through the motions aiming for the top net and some circle work, instead the bowler put the ball straight in the Hersch batting arc and once again zakker time. Flash back to Canberra Masters 2003 back to back WaWa zaks with Gadj trying to keep up. Yes indeedy, Forrest so pumped with adrenaline at this point attempted to zak the bowler for a fourth consecutive time by swinging lustily before the ball was half way down the pitch to him ending the over with a dot. 29 runs off the over.
Hersch settled into the usual dabbage for the remaining 3 overs whilst Forrest continued as he does, getting caught, a couple more zaks, to make 3 for the night, and da da daa down the pitch, swing miss, try to keep running to cross with Hersch but didn’t and run out. 
The platform was set, 65 from the first partnership.

YCFTN sent in the two solid*** partnership to the night Kleenex and Bevo, “Platform” was the cry from the spectators upon their entrance to the rectangle vaguely resembling a netted box thing. First over went well with ones and dots a plenty, however no outs. Then the wheels came unstuck, Kleenex and Bevo stitched each other up, were caught out and generally made a meal of it all. One runout, Bevo hit the ball, Kleenex called, ran****, stopped one metre short of the batting crease, the ball was fielded, thrown to the bowlers end, fumbled, either batter could have run a single by the time the fumble and eventual runout of Kleenex was complete. Bevo spent this whole episode with his bat firmly in the batting crease and head down not moving.

Later that same over, Kleenex in his usual still of premeditating the line and the shot***** he is going to play before the ball has left the bowlers hand, defended his middle stump beautifully, pity he wasn’t defend the off stump. Bowled. The platform had a bit of sanding back to 58 at the end of the partnership.

“who is batting next, captain, it’s the 7th over” YCFTN looked about and saw that all four of the remaining “batsmen” all had new beers. Oh well, shrug, you two in next. Texas and Herc. Much like the first over of the innings two zaks, one being a jackpot zak by Texas, would have looked good if they also hadn’t got out 3 times in the same over. YCFTN went for a walk in the middle here so has little to add, according to Herc and luckily for him the scoresheet he hit a zak. Their last over had plenty of dabbage and a couple more wickets. Team score now resting precariously on 99.

Last up BooCake and Mares. This over did not start so well, will BooCake getting caught out on the jackpot ball and third ball stitch up by Mares on Bookcake saw the scoreboard flashing. The rest of the innings was mostly uneventful and da famulee ended up on modest 112.

BooCake started well snaring a couple of wickets, with Forrest taking the first catch of the night, he was happy as a pig in sh1te to avoid the non-catch finage. Mare in the second over bowled slightly high and then b1tch3d at Wazza about the batter being out of his crease, obviously forgetting Wazza can not see shite even with his glasses on. Kleenex was brought on to mix it up some more, unfortunately they liked his bowling, nuf said. Texas was supposed to be up next but Mares was still sulking so was thrown the ball to bowl the fourth over. He had fire in his eyes and pace in the arm. A nice tidy over to finish up and win a skin to boot. Woo hoo.

Do not know what scoresheet Texas was looking at, claiming he has a jackpot wicket on his ball, scoresheet says it was a dot. Hersch still bowling well from the previous week provided another tidy though wicketless over. Forrest and Herc followed suit with only Herc capturing a wicket. Didn’t quite win that skin of -7 however with the opposition score sitting on 44 things were looking quite average.

The third partnership poked and prodded there way around only loosing one wicket. Herc grassed a lolly catch off the side net for the captain and doubling their team score to 88.

Apart from two balls where Herc bowled to the batters swinging arc and appropriated zakked it was a tidy set of four overs. BooCake also did his bit by mandkating in the last over to try to ensure victory. Unfortunately it was not to be dafamulee down by 6 runs at the end.
The kitty, however, was happy as usual with 17 fines for the night collected.


*How this is different from any other night I do not know
**May actually be mediocre, not wild
***may have actually been a little wobbly about the knees
*****read block

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