Kincaid Chronicle

Close but no cigar

(Season 20 Game 3)

Hello all and sundry,

Every now and then a compelling story is told. A story filled with
magnanimous heroes. A story of peril, fulfilment and restitution.
A story which is so far above the ordinary, that it is passed from
generation to generation, until it becomes legend, then folklore and
finally myth.

This is not such a story. We begin with a bunch of dudes whom, if studied
in their individual form, represent the lowest possible common denominator
of what people inaccurately refer to as ath-e-letes.
But, put these blokes together in a team, and call that team Da Partidge
Famulee, and these men, whom as individuals could easily be beaten by
preschoolers playing playground cricket, suddenly become a force which is
less than the sum of their parts.

The venue was the SCG, game three (perhaps) of Season 20. We had Mary
listed as the big C but, Mary forgot to turn up. Seeing as everyone was
upstairs masterfully warming up for the game with beers in hand, I made the
decision to pilot this ship through the rough seas that are the hole-filled
courts of the Tony Blardy Farken Centre of specialised Indoor Criggit (or
something that looks like it). Knowing that Mary wasn't about, signifying
that we were one chickenny duck thing short of a Partridge, I accepted
Mick's offer to play for Da Famulee. I also accepted the umpire's
challenge to call the toss and succeeded in calling it right. So, we
decided to bat. I went upstairs to tell all, and lo and behold, there was
Herc...the 9th man ready to step up for the non-appearing Mary. Bugger.

So, we started with Mick the Tank and Twiggy. Mick managed to score a
paultry (no pun intended - oh ok, yes pun fully intended) 35 whilst Twiggy
magnificently scored a well earned Famulee like -7. Solid base that.

Forrest with one 'r' and Schlang-a-lang followed. Forrest scored a whole
stack of zaks (all curiously attributed to Schlang) to move the score along
to 48. Schlang ending up with 17 runs courtesy of Forrests zak-o-matic.

Bevour and the usurper (aka YCFTN) took to the court and proceeded to
dismantle the "imitation-attack" that the opposition had brought along.
Bevo with a strong 25 could not match the ambidextrous efforts of his
Captain, who ended with a well deserved -3. No zacks were hurt in the
making of this partnership.

With the score on a reasonable number (70), Herschelle and Sticks were
thrown in the deep end. Sticks scored an interesting 10 runs. "No zak for
you !!!", while Herschelle scored not a negative (0).

So, with a team total of 80 runs, I thought I'd deploy our best bowlers
early. But, not being able to find them, I settled for Schlang (15), Stick
(-6), Forrest (11) and Twiggy (14). First pair walked out with the score
on 34. Good work Sticks out of that lot.

I opened the bowling for the next pair, and gave away a lucky 13 runs.
Mick the Tank thought he'd do better and he gave away 14. Bevo had a go
and ended up with zero, zilch, nada. Sticks finished off this pair with a
7. Total up to 68.

Twiggy was made to bowl first to the third pair, and he did better this
time with only 8 runs against his name. Herschelle, whom I had forgotten
all about (he must have been hiding behind the stumps), finally got to bowl
and did well with only 7 runs. Forrest did a Bevo and ended up with zero.
Mick the Tank bowled the last over of this pair and gave away 4 runs.
Total up to 87.

So, they are in front of us, but not by much. Bevo opened proceedings and
gave away a single. Schlangy had a crack and gave away 2. Herchelle with
4 kept us in the game, but YCFTN managed to lose the game by giving away 8
runs to bring the opposition's score to 102. Thrill Killers by a nose.

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