Kincaid Chronicle

Denied the finals again

(Season 20 Game 1)

Hello sports fans, and welcome once again to the Kincaid Chronicles. That's right, I'm your host Reuben Kincaid. You might remember be from such online cult videos as 'Reuben Goes Bananas', 'One Flew Over The Reuben's Nest' and the ever popular but mildly disturbing 'When Harry Met Reuben'. You probably all know that in between appointments as Megan Gale's personal waxing consultant I manage a team of mediocre duds known as the Partridge Famulee.

Lovers of indoor cricket would know that my beloved Chickeny Duck Things were robbed of a finals appearance for the second consecutive season, so it was with (not) much anticipation that they turned up at the house of BlardyFarken on Toosday night to make up the numbers and put some money over the bar in another futile attempt to add to the coffers of Tony Blardyfarken so he could have even more money to not spend on fixing holes in his nets.

The opposition for the night would be Dick Smith Powerhouse, and what a farce it turned out to be.

Mullarky was selected as captain and in the tradition of past Famulee performances selected to bat without a coin in sight. This was duly accepted and the others took the field. Seeking a solid platform he selected Hersch to open the batting, and pointed at Sticks, up in the bar with full beer in hand, to open with him. Sticks was grumbling something about "This club..." but like a good lad he went anyway.

Some solid batting and some not so solid batting saw 66 from the first four overs, two zaks being credited to Sticks. A tidy platform that. Next in Twiggy and Pablo, and despite having 9 in the front court for two overs the umpire apparently wasn't watching our game and not a no ball was called. Dud. 47 more from the second pair, both going zakless. Mullarky decided to bat last with Schlang, having not hit a zak in a while and he knew that Schlangy would be good for at least one that he didn't hit going on the scoresheet that never lies in his column, so Bevo and Herc went in and added another solid 45 runs. Mullarky was still confident that they could defend 110, so didn't feel too bad going in to bat with Schlang when we walked out with 2 off the bat and seeing Schlangy run out off the back net off the last ball of the 14 ball last over. Should have let that last leg side be the end of it Bang Schlang :o).

So they had 185 to defend, and suuurely they couldn't lose it from here...

The fielding was mediocre at best, the new Bukkake Sanction providing much hilarity towards the end of the match when Hercules and Bevo were struggling to take a catch. Everyone else was off the hook including Mullarky who took a beautiful one off the chest at the back net off Hersch. Twiggy did accuse some members of spoiling, although aren't you only supposed to accuse someone of doing something wrong? It mattered not whether there was someone to blame or not, the kitty still heard the sound of cha-ching for several dropped catches and a captains fine of a beautifully crafted double Harbour Bridge.

Not much else to report other than they yet again smashed a team of nuffies in a grading game ensuring a third season in B grade to flounder at the bottom of the table in the name of mediocrity.

Score sheet attached, Pabs I bet you can find all of your dropped catches in there dude.

Over and out,

Reuben Kincaid
C Bomb Disposal Unit
Partridge Industries

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