Kincaid Chronicle

Famulee v’s Founding Fathers

(Season 19 Game 16)

It is with great reluctance that I write this match report as it brings all the horrible memories flooding back, the terrible batting performance of YCFTN, YCFTN being out caught and out run by a 60 year old on one good leg, Bevo in a wife beater….

Add to this all the crazy new rules that Tony Blardyfarken and Reubs had gotten together to introduce since my last appearance in the Purple and Lime Green and it was an evening to be forgotten (to be fair this was back when Geelong still sucked and Paris Hilton was a virgin)…..except for the fact that Sticksy somehow managed not to take a catch the whole night and was up for a fine thanks to one of these new rules. Watching him throw his Partridge issue hat to the ground in disgust every time one of his team mates saved himself by taking a catch, was more satisfying than the time I managed to have an Uncle Dug whilst in bed with the other half without getting caught….well, almost as satisfying.

Anyway, to the game and YCFTN, still spinning from being told of all the new rules and that fact that Bevo didn’t have a scotch and coke in his hand, managed to lose the toss and still “get” to bat first. Forrest and Monners got the Famulee off to a very un-Famulee like start by smashing some very questionable bowling to all parts of the court to post 47, with Forrest hitting 25, the top score of the evening.

Drawing on my high school Maths and recalling that two negatives make a positive, I sent Bevo and Pabs in next and my theory was verified with the boys making 38 and taking the score along to a very healthy……47 plus 38.

The next four overs were entrusted to two Famulee legends as Herc and Schlang strode to the crease to consolidate the Famulee’s position. I don’t remember a lot about this to be honest as I’m sure I was positively crapping myself about the prospect of having to bat next but they managed to make 25 and take the score up over 100.

YCFTN decided that this was more than defendable and went about dismantling the innings ball by ball in one of the worst batting performances the Famulee had seen since the last time I had played. Sticksy did his best to keep us out of the negatives but unfortunately the Force was too strong in me and our -3 partnership left our total at 105.

Partly because I don’t remember a lot about the game, given it was three weeks ago, but mainly because I am losing interest and still have to fit in 5 minutes of Redtube before lunch is over, the bowling part of the report will be kept very succinct, suffice to say that the Founding Fathers chased down our total, scoring 126. Bevo was the best of the bowlers and the rest of us were pretty ordinary.

Once again the Famulee had managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory, highlighted by one of the worst captaincy performances ever seen in Famulee colours which will surely mean I will have to captain every time I play from now on.


Tooth points for the night went to:

3. Bevo
2. Forrest
1. Monners.

This club’s f***ed.

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