Kincaid Chronicle

At short notice, here's the Kincaid Chronicles fro

(Season 2 Game 21)

The Grand Final Waltz

Twas the day of Grand Final
and all through da house
not a creature was stirring
not even a mouse.

Till Partridge showed up
with "ghecko" in hand
to blast the opposition
clear off of the land.

The Mod Squad had managed
to defeat the keenoids
and try to revenge defeat
from the duds on steroids

Pre match preso ensured
that the boys'd be pissed
but when the wickets were to be hit
they'd definitely be missed

Sticks won the snaptooth jacket
for our fairest and best
shame that his cods
were still in his chest

Schlang gave out certificates
showing our merit
toward the team performance
dodgy efforts we still inherit

Trev's last game for the family
he'd be off to Adelaide the next day
showing that he had no idea
he asked Inzy the way

Inzy had a plane to catch
at 6am none the less
he'd better not get too pissed
or no stewards he'd impress

Sticksy won the toss
looking like a poor mans Steve Waugh
which didn't help us at all
so we showed him the door

Without any hesitation
we were sent out to field
and it was little effort
the runs they would yield

102 after 8 overs they had scored
and our team was glum
but Herschelle rallied the troops
and pulled their fingers from their bum

After 8 more overs they had 126
but we had a silly chance
to upset the favourites
and do a victory dance

Our first pair went in
with nothing to their name
Herc swished and swayed
"the bat was to blame"

The score was abysmal
even after over 8
so Trev took the long handle
and got bowled through the gate

The score steadied on forty
and we needed heaps
so twas Sticks and Al
tried to play for keeps

Twas the normal story though
for the boys of Partridge
we failed in our run for glory
so we pointed to the fridge

"Give us another" thanks barman
"a Tooheys for me and stuff the rest"
at least if nothing else
we'll win the drinking contest

So we lost a grand final
"stiff shit, big deal!"
whoever said "there's always next season"
is f..king unreal

For there is only one Grand Final
and spirit abounds
when in years to come you talk of the comraderie
after stacking on the pounds

Nevertheless, there is next season
and it starts tonight
so be there with bells on
cos we'll put up a fight

Goodbye to a season
in which we played extra games
we got in the grand final
but we hath no shame.

Farewell young Trev
who drives into the desert
like a demon on valium
with a horrible hawaiin shirt!

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