Kincaid Chronicle

I should have listened to my Mother

(Season 18 Game 15)

It’s times like these that I wished I listened to my Mother! Why, what did she say? I dunno, I wasn’t listening. (Boom tish!)
Listening must’ve been my greatest downfall on the evening of Tuesday August 12, 2008. Yes, for it was on this evening that I heard my name singled out for the toss of the coin. As far as I knew, The Chad was listed on the website coming into this game as the ‘Big C’, but he was a no-show, along with a couple of others, and it turns out we have only 6 players available against Juicy Ham. Not sure why I was singled out but in the interests of Da Famulee, a coin is flung and I call ‘Tails’. Couldn’t believe it. The coin lands as ‘Tails’ and after a quick consultation with my fellow players, the decision to bat was made.
As Your Captain For The Night (YCFTN), I felt it was honourable to open proceedings and selected Schlangy for a bit of company. Having witnessed Schlangy’s previous week’s efforts with the bat, surely he’d move onwards and upwards from here. Alas, it wasn’t to be and this was also reflected by YCFTN. Schlangy was out 3 times in the 1st over, YCFTN out twice in the 2nd over. In fact, more wickets fell in overs 3 & 4 and to say it was ugly criggit would be doing a disservice to ugly criggit. The word ‘platform’ came to mind (briefly) but the word ‘stitch-up’ probably best suited our efforts. After 4 overs, the scoreboard was broken as it displayed a partnership of minus 12 runs.
Given the Olympics were on in the background, a gold medal performance was required from our next batting pair, so, YCFTN selects Bevo and Kleenex. Their form of pace setting in the 100m sprint would surely see them put in some blistering performances between the wickets! Alas, running was soon to be their undoing in the early stages as both were run-out in over 5. Oh, and over 6 too. Overs 7 & 8 were an improvement from the lads, displaying some fine swaying reminiscent of a Russian Olympic gymnast on the Balance Beam, with Bevo nailing a couple of zaks. Yes, even Bevo occasionally manages to middle one off the bat! No broken scoreboard here with Kleenex and Bevo producing 20 moorvellous runs.
Third pair of Boxxy and Herschelle were up next and as YCFTN hadn’t witnessed Boxxy’s previous form (given he’s new to the Partridge ranks) I thought it only fair to pair him with the experienced Hersch, 2nd on the all time runs list coming into this game. Yes, he’s out to catch Sticks and take the number 1 position!
Like the previous batting pairs, Boxxy and Hersch struggled initially with a swinging ball, a few dot balls recorded (on the scoresheet that never lies), some fine side net work at times, but Boxxy’s 2nd over facing saw him out in 3 consecutive deliveries. Firstly run-out, then bowled and then stumped. Oh dear, the scoreboard is broken (again) but with Hersch managing a sweet shot to the back net for 5, some confidence was returned, albeit temporarily. Unlike Schlangy and YCFTN’s efforts earlier with a minus 12, Boxxy and Hersch produce a partnership of minus 10.
After 12 overs, Da Famulee’s grand total was minus 2 runs.
YCFTN recommends to Juicy Ham that they select 2 players to finish the innings, given we only had 6 players, and they left this decision up to us. So, as YCFTN, and with the poorest batting so far, I gave Schlangy and myself the opportunity to redeem ourselves. Surely we could improve on our minus 12!
In a few words, “Yes we did.” In a few more words, Schlangy stitched up YCFTN in a beautiful pay-pack, YCFTN hits a zak (parried off the bowlers hands), Schlangy manages not to get out during overs 13 – 16 and together, manage a positive partnership of 31 runs.
Sadly though, our total for 16 overs on the WACA was 29 runs.
As anyone who’s played the game will tell you, defending 29 runs with 6 players will never be easy, but we’d give it a crack anyway in the truest form of mediocrity.
YCFTN felt that with a positive batting score earlier, Kleenex would surely continue this fine form and lead us off with the 1st over. While the scoresheet recorded his name as ‘Pavlova’ (where the hell did that come from?), Pabs, unfortunately, didn’t produce the winning form YCFTN was hoping for. Boxxy’s efforts with over 2 showed signs of greatness, collecting 3 wickets. Over 3 from Schlangy heard the call of “That’s one, ah ah aaaah” while over 4 from Bevo saw him pick up 2 wickets. After the opposition’s opening pair were targeting a partnership of 50 runs, they fell just short and had posted 47 runs. Yes, Juicy Ham had managed to outscore the Partridge Family inside their first 4 overs.
Overs 5, 6, 7 & 8 would be bowled by YCFTN, Hersch, Boxxy, and Bevo. A wicket to YCFTN in over 5 contained the scoring, Hersch was pinging some excellent deliveries without luck, Boxxy couldn’t repeat his efforts from earlier and went wicketless while Bevo collected 2 more wickets to reach his milestone of 25 wickets for the season. A highlight in what was fast becoming mediocre. Juicy Ham’s batting after 8 overs had amassed 92 runs. Me thinks this is getting out of hand. Thoughts of “Okay, we’ve seen enough, bring it in” went through my mind.
As their next pair came out, it was a case of Schlang, Pavlova, YCFTN and Hersch each having an over left and so this would be the bowling order.
A couple of great deliveries by Schlangy bamboozled the batters while a couple of other were smacked back. Pav, aka Kleenex, bowled tight with one delivery getting through for Bevo to produce a stumping, YCFTN was zakked twice (in form reminiscent of the previous week’s game) while Hersch collected 2 wickets, including another top stumping from Bevo. While all this was happening, the total continued to climb for Juicy Ham.
So, with 4 overs remaining, YCFTN offers their final batting pair with the option to select some additional bowlers and they said, “You choose”, so we just made it up on the spot. Well sort of.
Schlangy was already holding the ball ready to go with over 13 so I thought, “Hey, you can bowl” and he did. Perhaps it was the ‘fruit’ he delivered, but it worked, with 3 catches made in the field, plus, a milestone achieved. YCFTN was up next, and while not zakked this time round, just for something different, another catch is made. Pavlova, also known as Pabs also known as Kleenex, unfortunately is zakked but also manages 2 wickets, with Boxxy to take over 16, much to his surprise, pleading with YCFTN and questioning whether this was a sensible decision. Since when does ‘sensible’ come into play with Da Famulee? At this stage, we were a chance to win a skin with the final over to be bowled, and had YCFTN not dropped a catch (cha-ching), we would’ve made it, but we loose the skin by 1 run and the game by plenty.
Final scores: Juicy Ham 172 runs. Partridge Famulee 29 runs.
Milestones achieved: Bevo 25 wickets for the season. Schlangy 25 wickets for the season. Forrest 200 runs for the season.

Tooth Points: 3 to Bevo, 2 to Herschelle and 1 to Forrest.
Overall winner on the night – The Kitty!

FORREST (YCFTN)

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