Kincaid Chronicle


(Season 18 Game 3)

Fellow Partridges…wearers of Purple & Lime Green…Chickeny-Duck-Things…and other suitably noted criggiting namesakes…welcome to another milestone instalment of the Kincaid Chronicles, this time, Game 18 of Season 3. Yes a milestone game for several reasons, but selfishly, it’s Forrest’s 250 game. A milestone that has been some 7 years in the making, beginning way back on April 10 (2001) when I played my first game for Da Famulee.
Ironically in that very 1st game (Season 5, Game 1), we had 6 players (Boof, Big Al, Herschelle, Sticks, No Look and myself) and in my 250th, we still had Sticks and Herschelle playing in again a side that wasn’t the required 8 players. What is it about Da Famulee fielding a side of less than 8 players? Is this to be a trend for Season 18?
As it turns out, six-fiddy beckons and Your Captain For The Night (YCFTN) welcomes a challenge against the archenemy, The Polar Bears. *
*May not actually be an enemy but a bunch of fellow public servants playing for bragging rights!
Nathan, the ref and part-time newly recruited Partridge player (only ‘cos we’ve been using him to make up the numbers – see above) tosses the coin, I call “Tails” and of course it lands ‘Heads’. We’re told we can bat.
Righto, with 7 players, my thinking as YCFTN is that I would use this milestone opportunity to have previous and potential milestoners bat together, build a platform, blah blah blah and march on to victory. The batting order would be Herschelle (playing game 331) and Schlang (playing game 285) as the 1st pair, Sticks (playing game 253) and Forrest (playing game 250) as the 2nd pair, Herc (playing game 235) and Kleenex (playing game 95 and approaching his milestone of 100 games for Da Famulee) as the 3rd pair, and finally, Bevo (playing game 83) and ‘whoever’ as the 4th and final batting pair.
Of course, running through the back of mind is that it’s still a Grading Game, the 3rd of a new season, with the potential that there’s another 300 still to come before the season proper.
Given Sticks was running late (cha-ching), this theory was about to be tested! In fact, I was beginning to think that with some last minute ins and outs for the team, we were about to resemble Freemantle’s recent AFL form. That is, you’re really not sure which team is about to turn up and play!
Hersch and Schlang head out and their 1st over saw plenty of sways the Great Man would’ve been proud of. Further dabbage against the Polar Bears (they only had 6 players) meant some easy side net scoring and a lovely zak from Hersch, to finish with a beautiful platform of 46 runs. Not bad, considering Schlangy was the only out and it was on the last ball he faced.
By the time YCFTN was ready, still no sight of Sticka as a batting partner, so YCFTN selects the next milestoner in Herc, who politely reminded YCFTN, “You do realise what you’re in for?” Yes, I know, plenty of left leg shuffle across the wicket, regardless of the type of delivery faced! As it turned out, it cost Herc his wicket 4 times! YCFTN tried valiantly to hit zaks (don’t we all???) to no avail, and together a partnership of 19 runs is made, with Herc duly observing that, “A zero is not a negative with the bat” and YCFTN makes 19 runs.
At the halfway mark, Sticks has fronted the House of Baloooodyfaaaaarkin and with Kleenex, our 3rd pair make their way onto the SCG. Like Hersch and Slang, they too provided some gentle dabbage into the side nets to keep the scoreboard ticking over, with Sticks managing to curve a lovely shot into the corner post for a zak.
Despite protests that it was off the side and then the back, Nath gave it the 7 runs on the scoresheet that never lies. A partnership of 46 runs between Kleenex and Sticks and Da Famulee have now amassed triple figures on the scoreboard, 111 runs.
Finally, with Bevo ready to bat, YCFTN decides he’ll make up the numbers, thinking that a couple of extra runs (and the lure of a zak) would be good for the career stats. The Polar Bears could’ve selected someone to bat, namely Herc, but thinking strategically, Herc made himself ‘invisible’ by going upstairs to the bar and out of view. Let it be noted that batting a 2nd time doesn’t always put the theory into practice!
Without question, Bevo carried the 4th partnership, playing shots that were most un-Bevo like, managing not to get out any stage, unlike YCFTN, who was caught twice and runout once, producing a negative batting result of minus waaaaaarn and the resultant cha-ching. Bevo scored 32 runs, including a sweet zak, almost surpassing his highest score of 38.
After 16 overs, Da Famulee had managed a total of 142 runs.
Now to the field, and with a compliment of 7, my theory of having previous and potential milestoners could be properly put into practice. Hersch would lead us off, then Slangy, Sticks and YCFTN in that order for the 1st 4 overs.
Herschelle made a terrific start despite the shouts of “That’s one ah ah aaah” and “That’s two ah ah aaah”, Schlang managed a couple of wickets (including a nice run-out by Kleenex showing off his wog ball prowess to kick the ball into the stumps) before getting zakked, Sticks got carted and YCFTN got sort of carted, leaving the Polar Bears a few runs short of the winning the skin in a tight contest.
Overs 5, 6 7, & 8 would be bowled by Herc, Kleenex, Bevo and Herschelle, again using the milestone theory.
A promising start by Herc saw it go backwards when he was zakked, Kleenex picked up a couple of wickets (chasing his milestone of 200 career wickets but not quite there yet), Bevo’s over went wicket-less and Herschelle’s 2nd over was again tidy, producing 2 more wickets. The Polar Bears scored 22 runs in this partnership and won the skin (D’oh!) and at the halfway mark, they had 59 runs.
By this stage, a few cha-chings were noted and I think the kitty was beginning to get moist at the thought of more goldies coming it way! Even Nath, our ref, reminded us that the tally was growing by the minute.
YCFTN then instructs Schlang, Sticks, himself and Herc to take overs 12, 13, 14 & 15 using the milestones theory.
Schlangy’s 2nd over produced a wicket, Sticka got zakked to his cry of “Faaaaaaark” but soon got his revenge with 2 more wickets on the scoresheet that never lies, YCFTN bowled 4 dot balls in the over (is this a record he asks himself?) and Herc bowled without luck, despite a zak against his name on the last delivery. This last delivery, it should be noted, was a parry off Schlang, proof that you don’t need to be on the back net (like Hersch) but merely at the halfway mark of the pitch is still enough for the ball to carry off your hands and be deflected all the way. The collective chant of “Cha-Ching” could be heard across the SCG. On a bright note, we manage to secure another skin.
Given the Polar Bears only had 6 players, we kindly allow them to choose their final batting pair and when it came to overs 15 & 16, we let them select the 2 bowlers, figuring that “Surely we couldn’t lose it from here?”
Kleenex begins over 13, and with another 2 wickets required to reach his milestone of 200 career wickets, it turns out that he’ll have to wait another game, managing to bowl without luck. With Herschelle taking the keeping duties for Bevo’s over, he does a marvellous job taking a catch up against the side net. Initially, I thought that was the quickest I’ve ever seen Bevo move from behind the stumps, but then I woke up and realised it was the ‘Indian rubberman’ at work. Silly me…what was I thinking? Perhaps I was concentrating on the scoreboard and the fact that the Polar Bears were nearing our total? Kleenex is back for a wicketless over 15 with the 16th and final over given to Sticks. Not that he had much choice in the matter, for it was ref Nathan who decided. Perhaps he’d already pencilled his name on the scoresheet before anyone had a chance to say? Well never know, but what we do know is Sticka bowled the best fruit ever seen in a 16th over in the history of Chickeny-Duck-Things. *
* History of 16th overs may not have actually ever been monitored as far as fruit bowling is concerned.
Excellent fielding by Da Famulee see 2 catches in the final over to secure a win and the final skin. The wickets for Sticka also see him reach his milestone of 550 career wickets.
Final scores. Da Famulee 142 runs – Polar Bears 110 runs.
Bragging rights are ours!

Tooth Points:
Hersch – 3 points
Bevo – 2 points
Forrest – 1 point

‘Better’ batting scores
Bevo – 32 runs
Sticks – 30 runs
Herschelle – 29 runs

‘Better’ bowling figures
Sticks – 4 for 23
Hersch – 3 for 0
Schlang – 3 for 15

Game Statistics
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