Kincaid Chronicle

Bilbies vs Partridges

(Season 17 Game 21)

Greetings Chickeny Duck things, this is YCFTN... Dubyah!.... with another dud of a match report.

A large contingent of 9 Partridges turned up to the House of Blardy Farken for our match against the In2itive Bilby's (aka Preston's team).

YCFTN was summoned to the toss by Wazza, called heads and promptly lost the toss. However, the Bilby's chose to field so we got to bat as per my strategy*.

With Bevo needing only 4 runs to hit a milestone of 100 runs for the season, I sent Bevo and Schlang-a-lang in to set up a platform. Little did I realise that some platforms don't actually stand above the ground. After 4 overs full of run outs and catches... the boys came out with a grand total of Zero. Zilch. Nada. Bevo on -2 and Schlang on +2. So what does Bevo need now for his milestone? Thats right... its gone up to 6 runs.

On a side note, I had to sort out who was going to be the final Partridge in the team and who would be the spectator for the night... so I eeny meeny miny moed Hercules out of the team so that Mary could be the 8th Partridge.

Next in were Gaz and Forrest. I was so busy talking to people I didn't actually watch much of this partnership... but according to the scoresheet that never lies.... the boys kept the scoreboard ticking over nicely with overs of 7, 22, 30 and 1. With a grand total of 60... things were looking a little better. Gaz 26 (milestone of 100 for the season) and Forrest 34. And did Gaz actually block that last ball??

Next in was YCFTN and Hersch. The partnership started with a steady flow of "twooooos" until Hersch holed out to the guy at the back net. However, the next 2 overs went for 21 and 19, with Hersch punishing the bowling and Dubyah just plugging away with "waaaaaaaaaaaaans" and "twoooooooos". Preston came on to halt the flow of runs but we still got 14 off him... even if I couldn't see the damn ball. So a partnership of 57, Dubyah with 26 (highest score and 500 runs milestone) and Hersch with 31 (and a milestone of 75 zaks!). Da Famulee was sitting on 117.

Surely the next 2 duds could rack up the runs.

Last pair in were Mary Mary quite Contrary and Sticka-tek. First ball to Sticks going for "not a zak" the score board was broken straight away. The boys plugged away with a few runs, a few wickets and a few dot balls. And where would a night at the House of Blardy Farken be without Mary getting bowled as he is halfway down the pitch. After a mediocre performance of 15 runs, Sticks with 0 and Mary 15, the innings closed with Da Famulee on 132.

So into the nets we went, confident of a win**. Mary was hungry to get his hands on the ball, so he opened the bowling and restricted the openers to 8 runs. Gaz up next bowled well and also without luck to also only give away 8 runs. Next up was Hersch, who required one wicket for a milestone of 650. A second ball catch saw Hersch reach the milestone and also keep the batters to only 6 runs. Rounding up the bowling for this pair was Forrest, the most expensive of the first 4 bowlers, going for 11 runs. Our skin of zero beaten by 33 runs.

2nd pair comes in and I decide to have a bowl. Absolute rubbish, with the only wicket being a run out, which was amazing that I actually hit the stumps. Next up Bevo had the batsmen in no-mans land, with only 3 runs added. Schlangy the destroyer up next bowled as follows: B C 5 2 2 1 B C for a total of -10 (bringing up his milestone for 25 wickets this season). Considering the standard of this batting pair, I mentioned to Hersch that maybe I should save Sticks for the next 2 pairs. To which Hersch replies "yeah, these guys will probably smash him". And those fears were almost realised when Stick's first ball was sent for a zak. However Sticks recovered to dot it up and get a wicket to keep the runs to 6. This pair got a grand total of 4 chasing our skin of 60. The Bilby's on 37. Surely we can't lose it from here.

3rd pair in and Bevo to bowl again. These batters trying to bat sensibly (cheaters) plugged away at Bevo only hitting one zak but also letting one through for a bowled, a tidy 16 runs and Bevo has a milestone for 25 wickets in a season. After his mighty effort against the previous pair I tossed the ball to Schlangy who again bowled well to restrict the pair to 14. Next up Gaz had them scratching their heads, giving away only a few runs and picking up 2 wickets for -3 runs. With things going well and not wanting to bowl to the pair containing Preston... it was time to give the opposition the chance to win the game... Dubyah on to bowl. The decision to bowl Sticks and not myself in that last pair came to haunt me as I got smacked for 3 zaks (including my hand turning a sitter for Hersch into a double parry zak) going for 31 runs and losing the 57 run skin by 1 run. That pair racks up 58, Bilby's on 95.

Mary started up the final pair, which began well when Preston was run out first ball. A very tight over ended with just 5 runs, Bilbys on 100 chasing 132. Forrest up next wasn't the usual zing fest and opened up with W NB W for a cha-ching. 4 more runs and a Leg Bye gave the Bilby's 12 more runs. 112 chasing 132. Hersch up next, with Preston and Stewart content to just push the ball into the side nets for 2's before a handy Run out on the last ball of the over kept them down to 6. 118 chasing 132.

Sticka-tek, feeling no pressure, took the pill. Requiring just 15 runs, the batters continued to push the side nets for 2's the over went 2 2 1 2 dot 2 2........ so the final ball and they require 4 runs to win. With Mary practically in the face of the batsmen..... the final ball from Sticks was hit straight back to Hersch, whose safe hands restricted the runs to 1.... AND THE CROWD GOES WILD (someone please wake up Hercules). They won the skin.. but who cares.

The mighty Famulee sticks it to the Bilby's to come up for a well deserved win.

Milestones recap:
Hersch 650 wickets
Hersch 75 zaks
Dubyah 25 wickets (and perhaps worse bowling figures)

Season milestones:
Gaz 100 runs
Schlang 25 wickets
Bevo 25 wickets

Tooth Points:
3. Gaz
2. Hersch
1. Forrest

With only 58 games left this season, surely we'll make the finals


(possibly the winningest Capt this season??)

*if you can call pulling **** outta my a$$ a strategy
** possibly not that confident
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