Kincaid Chronicle

Toosday December 4th, 2007

(Season 17 Game 4)

Opposition: In2itive Bilby's (fmr Preston's pack of parading poofters)
Time: 9:30pm

The graveyard game. The game that throws all reasonable thought out the window. As 9:30 approached, Da Famulee learned that Skip had ushered in Schlang and the named captain Mojo, had decided not to show up for the first sixish over's (cha-ching), and so Mary changed from vice-captain as per Reubs' instructions and promoted to el-capitano in Mojo's nonattendance.

Our umpire for this round 4 repechage, round-robin, quadruple knockout, reverse ladders, hell-in-a-cell tournament match was the wuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnn and only Wazza, and he had completed the toss and advised we could choose our poison. That poison of course was to bat first, and as per Mary's instruction, Forrest and Schlangalangalang, were thrown into the mixer first. Schlang, not happy about being chosen with some dregs still in his beer, proceeded to give Mary a spray, which was replied to with an, "i'll remember that".

>From the bleachers, this brought on a chorus* of, haven't you opened the batting in the last four games you have played, and cries of Schlang is "the platform". And a platform he and Forrest laid, taking 12 off the first over and 14 off the second over. The second being of greater note, as it involved 4 textbook sways. It took until the fourth ball of the third over for the first wicket, which was a beautiful zak/run out, and just one ball later for the first actual zak, which was smashed off the middle of Forrests' bat. They finished with an over of 11 including two more beautiful sways to finish with a great partnership of 45.

Bukkake and Sticks were thrown into the rapids without life jackets next and proceeded to ladle, spoon, dab and bunt to over's of 14, 7, 14 and 5. Of note:
Sticks hit a Zak off of the first ball he faced.
Sticks stitched up Bukkake in the second over.
Bukkake was run out in the third over, only for the wicket to be given to Sticks by way of stumping (chinsies, but the scoresheet never lies) and
Bukkake hit a zak to the top of the back net. Partnership of 40 and the team total to 85.

With Mojo still warm from girlie ball and Mary not wanting to risk having to bat twice, it was decided Mojo and Hersch would be the third pair. Mojo started with two dots and a streaky two, before being run out later in the over. The second over was largely uneventful, but it was followed by an over where Mojo faced seven of the eight deliveries offered. The final over of the pair, began with two wickets and ended with Mojo and Hersch kneeing, missing and bunting their way back to an over of -6. Partnership 11 and the team total 96.

And so, with one player short, it was inevitable that Mojo would be chosen to bat again. It was then the poofter pack decided to throw a spanner in the works, deciding to choose Hersch. However they quickly realised this was lunacy and decided to re-change their decision and Mojo was rightfully placed into bat again. The first over of the partnership was a good one, and included Mojo finally using the bat for a back net 5, followed by a poor sway from Mary, followed by a better sway from Mary and a zak. One final sway from Mary and it was 25 off the over and cries that surely it could only go downhill from here. And so it did, but only slightly with an uneventful over of 12, followed by a good over from the bowling side which set the partnership back 5 runs. The final over saw a brain explosion from Mary, and an over of -7. Partnership 25 and the final team total 121.

After an earlier spray from Schlang it was thought he would bowl the 1st and 14th over's, however, in a surprise move Mojo was given the ball fresh off batting 8 over's straight. The first over went for 7 and only produced 2 leg side wides and plenty of wuunnnnssss. The second over went to Hersch who, as usual, bowled without luck for 14. Splash, a-ahhhh, saviour of the universe was thrown the ball and immediately produced a wicket. He eventually went for 4 runs and the skin was looking in the bag. Forrest was then given the ball and bowled well despite the handicap of his fieldsman (Mary in particular) to go for 10 runs. Partnership 35 (net +10 to Da Famulee).

The second pair was greeted by the boy genius, Sticks. He bowled well and came out even Steven. Bukkake was thrown the ball and again bowled well, but this time without luck for an over of 10. The trend of bowling people out continued as Mojo was thrown the pill and should of gathered a few Dubbyah's, but Mary duffed an easy one and proclaimed that this club was farked. Mary fished off the pair, mainly because there was plenty of runs left to win the skin. Mary bowled with dip, fizz and guile, but it was ultimately all rubbish and 8 runs were taken. Partnership 26 (net +24 to Da Famulee).

The third pair came out and Schlang was told to warm up as the ball was thrown to Hersch. He bowled well again, this time with luck, and took 2 wickets to go for -1 run. Forrest followed this over up with an over of -6 which included a ripper of a catch. Schlang was then tossed the ball only to be asked to return it to Mary who bowled the 11th over. It started with 2 run outs and ended up going for 1. It could have been worse, but one zak from the opposition somehow found one of the holes in the House of Blardyfarkins courts and it was replaced with a wuuuunnnnn. Finally, Schlang was tossed the ball, only because he had to be thrown it, and proceeded to please the crowds with a run out, a catch, two back net fives and a zak, eventually going for 12 runs. Partnership 6 (net +29 to Da Famulee).

The final pair strode out and the cries of suuurrrrrrrrrreeeeelllllllllllllyyyyyyyy we couldn’t snatch defeat from the jaws of victory were heard all around Canberra. Sticks was instructed to bowl first and went for 15 runs. Schlang was then tossed the ball and proceeded to be hit to all parts, but managed to save some face by bowling Preston with a nice fruity delivery ending with 23 off the over. This then led to the fact we only had 7 players and the opposition was able to choose our final bowlers. Mojo was selected first and as per his first 2 over's, went for 2's and wuunnnnsss, with 15 runs coming off the over. As we peeked at the scoreboard, the 54 run lead we started with had shrunk to just 1 run and it was up to Schlang to save the day. Unfortunately this did not happen as he bowled his third straight over** from the front desk end and went for 27, including being zakked off of the last ball. Partnership 80, Final score 147 (net +16 to the Bilbys).

The mediocrity was sustained and we did managed to snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Despite the loss, we managed to pick up 3 skins.

The best preformed of a sad bunch were:
Batting:
Forrest 27
Bukkake 24
Mary 19
Schlang 18

Bowling:
Forrest 4/4
Mary 2/9
Hersch 2/13
Bukkake 1/14

Houndstooth:
Forrest 3 (net +23)
Bukkake 2 (net +10)
Mary 2 (net +10)

Peace out!

*May of only been Sticks
**Third straight being 12, 14 & 16.
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