Kincaid Chronicle

September 25, 2007

(Season 16 Game 25)

A significant date, for this was the last game that Ruby-Roo would represent the Purple & Lime Green and also for the fact that in only my 3rd game for the Famulee, I'm your Big C for the night, yes, Bush is Captain! Also known as YCFTN, or, Your Captain For The Night.

Despite being my 3rd game, I look forward to steering our team against the opposition of Klub MB, who, by game time of 5:30pm, were running a little low on numbers. The ref for the night, whom we'll call "Smirks" for reasons that will become obvious later, decided to toss the coin. Bukkake, who was standing closest to the toss (and of the coin) promptly shouted something about a head, but given we had a full side, we gracefully allowed Klub MB to bat and we'd take the field.

Being only my 3rd career game and my 1st as Captain, I turned to Dad, aka Forrest, for advice. None was forthcoming, except to enjoy the night. So I did some enjoyment by pronouncing Forrest to open the bowling. Not a good first over with no wickets forthcoming. Second over of the innings went to Schlang, who collected a wicket after some fine stumping work by Bukkake, who as usual, muttered something about being aroused....
Knuckles had over 3 and YCFTN took over 4, both bowling without luck. After 4 overs we were staring at a scoreboard of 54 runs.

I gave the ball to Roobs, and with her 2nd last over ever for Da Famulee, collected a wicket, a few wide deliveries and for memory, I think there was even a 'dead ball' call by the umpire "Smirks', who by this stage still hadn't warmed to the comic stylings of Partridge-ness and our continued shouts of "Hooooooooozat!" and "Surely!" Yes, he had a dead-pan face. Over 6 of the innings was a good one for Bukkake with 3 wickets to his name, then Jux got spanked having 2 zaks taken off his bowling while Forrest came back into the attack to collect a wicket and after 8 overs, Klub MB were 88 runs at the half way mark.

It was at this time that Knuckles had made it his duty to get the umpire to smile. At the batting changeover he gathered us all in and said "Come on, let's get the ump to smile. I mean, even I'm funnier than him."

As YCFTN, time to bring on the big guns!*
*May not actually have been a big gun

Bevo, who had been fielding in the death seat for much of the game, took the ball and with his first delivery of over number 9, quickly heard the cries of "That's One, ah ah ah" for he had bowled a leg-side delivery. He quickly came back on target, collecting a wicket, with Schlangy capitalising on a weakened third batting pair. Knuckles did well in his 2nd over, as did Robby-Roo with over number 12. A lightning fast one handed catch by Forrest in the death seat was a highlight during the 3rd pair, some excellent field work by Knuckles across the back net also featured and we keep the 3rd pair to a skin of 33 runs, but the total had grown to 121 runs.

As Klub MB had 7 players, I had to choose one of their team members to bat again. Cries of "Not Gaz" were obvious and Bevo, Knuckles and Roobs offered me much advice, not that it really helped as we were to find out, but I thanked them for their guidance.

Overs 13 - 16 were not pretty. Another zak was hit against us from the bowling of Bevo, YCFTN's 2nd over didn't register a wicket, Jux was uncharacteristically off target and Bukkake had 17 runs taken off the 16th and final over. Bukkake was yelling encouragement from behind the stumps, lines like, "Jump for it Juxxy" to keep the ball off the side net and "Come on Schlangy, do it for the Cats" but it was all in vain, as we were pumped big time. Although, Forrest got a nice pumping in the death seat when he took the full force of the ball off the bat during one of the final overs and quickly, true to form, started to bruise. A close call in so much as we all thought he'd been hit in the tender region, but not quite, still Bukkake was quick to offer a rub!

So, we face a total of 191 runs to equal, 192 runs to win.

First pair out, I select Schlang and Bevo. A cautious start but then Schlang finds his eye and slots a nice zak. Bevo, still finding his eye, is out a couple of times, but holding strong, Schlangy continues with some strokeplay that resembles cricket (we can't have that!) and surely we'd reach the 1st skin, but then I remember, in the short time I've been either a spectator or player of Da Famulee, mediocrity will always win out. And so it was, our first pair make 42 runs.

Next pair, I select Jux and Ruby-Roo. Remembering that this will be Rooby-Roo's final game, from the sidelines, we encourage Klub MB to go easy on her, let her have a few 'soft' runs. Of course, with Jux, we just heckled anyway! You could tell Roobs was aiming for the back net. Yes, she wanted to zak it up big time, but no matter how hard she tried, it wasn't going to happen. Pity, as it would've been a fitting farewell and fine way to end her career in the purple and lime green. Meantime, Jux just kept playing shots into the side nets, keeping a low profile and allowing Rooby to be the shining light. Not so shining was the scoreboard, with the pair making 5 runs overall and we were 47 runs after 8 overs.

The 3rd pair was the father & son combination of Bush and Forrest. A first ball out to Forrest was not exactly the start YCFTN was hoping for. I did some gentle dabbage, plenty of wild bat swinging while Knuckles took photographic evidence of YCFTN's ability, hoping that it would lead by example, but no, Forrest continued to get caught. As Knuckles was to comment later, "Any other night and those hits would've been zaks" and it seemed we were going from worse to somewhere between mediocre and mediocre. 5 outs to Forrest and one to YCFTN and we managed a partnership of 1. I managed 4 runs of that partnership, so you don't need me to tell you who had a negative and a fine!

Final batting pair of Bukkake and Knuckles was a better effort and after starting slowly, the boys quickly got into stride. Some magnificent slicing and dicing with the bat from Bukkake saw the scoreboard tick over and together with Knuckles, a couple of zaks were registered, the centre circle featured in the action, and several references to play that was "homo like" could also be seen and heard. A partnership of 45 was great to see, but alas, it wasn't enough.

Final scores were Klub MB 191 runs - Partridge Famulee 93 runs.

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