Kincaid Chronicle


(Season 2 Game 9)

A huge crowd of 6 was in attendance to see the clash of the titans, a top of the table clash between the "co-ordinatedly challenged" Partridge Family and Polar Bears at Weston ICA. What we wont mention is that 5 of the onlookers were staff at ICA, and one was the "de-facto son" of Inzy.

We lost the very dodg-ily taken toss, the coin lodging itself underneath the fallen down bat of Inzy. A quick "we'll bowl" call by the opposition and we were thereby sent in.

I looked around and saw everyone looking toward me. I had no idea why. Suddenly a flashback..............I was captain. Bugger. My bourbon "it's not a drink, it's a lifestyle" sozzled brain recalled something in it's dim dark past, that I was supposed to direct this interesting band of merry men into action.

Trev, looking at me as if to say "he's physically here but the light's upstairs aint on", annoyed me most so I sent him and the big destroyer "HMAS BIG-AL" to replicate the damage inflicted on the side the previous week.

Alas, Trev hit every edge known to man and gave fine leg and third man plenty of work while Al did some damage to the fielders hands in compiling 20 odd.

I sent Pete and Jase in second to hopefully undo the good work done by the opening pair and after one ball, Schlang had hit a lucky 7 (Bosnich tapped it over the bar) and things were looking good. Then Jase "played on" next ball, got caught the following ball and then Schlang ran him out the ball after and things were looking grim. As all good opening pairs do, they steadied and made 21, well, Pete made 21, Jase might as well have had the cardboard cut out out there as he made a very solid and well compiled zero.

Mojo and myself went in, after playing a game of rock, scissors, paper with Inzy as to who was going to bat last. In the back of my mind I was slightly worried...............Narelle hadn't turned up to cricket...............if she's sick, who the hell am I gonna get to buy me a cappucino in the morning???? AAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!! More pressing was the issue that Matthew, a rookie taken in the first round of the 1989/90 draft and had been promoted in the absence of Rels (placed on the injured list due to a bad case of the "Chris Mew's") and WA WA (placed on the injured list due to a runny bottom) would need to play and we didn't get a note from his mum to say it was OK for him to play. Matthew would get his chance and meanwhile on the outside of the net, Inzy was doing what he does best, confusing the poor youngster. (Don't you just love the honesty of children?).

Mojo and I, without hitting the middle of the bat once, made 52.

Rels still hadn't returned from visiting Mr Mew, so it was thrown open to Matthew.........I think sheer panic was a good description of the look on Matthew's face.

Inzy, trying desperately to improve his batting form over the previous week, and ensure he didn't run the youngster out, batted the ball carefully into the side nets as we stood on the side and yelled out "yes" or "no" at the most inopportune times. One instance, Matthew scurried to his ground and "slid" into his crease, bringing cheers of joy and comments about how good it was that we weren't going to be him in the shower the next morning. Yow, that'll sting.

Matthew and Inzy made 13 in an awe inspiring display of courage and commitment for the team cause.

With Matthew taking the field to plaudits from his teammates, our enthusiasm was high but not for long. The first pair, as always, got away from us and made about 35 or 40. After 1 over, Trev was seen coaching the young fella in returning the ball to the keeper and by jove, he did a great job, flicking the ball back instead of gathering it and throwing it. Trev, can you talk to the rest of the team for me too please?? The call of the card early was from Pete "We only field well after 8 overs" so as you can tell, the next four were not much better. We kept them "down" to 59 after 8 (largely due to the superb fielding and bowling exploits of Matthew and co-horts) and with a guy that belted us around during practice to come, we thought we were in trouble. Except for an inspired spell by Mojo, we would've been. 4 or 5 wickets in his second over took the score from 80 to 60 and all was looking well. Matthew followed up his first spell of exceptional line and length (this author can take lessons from such person) with another fine over and his final figures of 3/15 were perhaps an injustice to the young rookie. In racing terms, he's better for the run and might again be required to play for the Partridge Family next time, with apparel.

The final pair succumbed to the most ordinary of bowling, due to myself in most part, and made 30, after Trev and Al cleaned up the tail with ease.

My final over of 4 wides prompted the call of "C'mon Hansie, you can still lose this" from Mojo. Well, I tried (mind you it cost me a carton of beer!). The opposition stopped short on 90 enabling jubilant celebrations from all and sundry and ensuring that we stay top of the ladder, at least for another week.

No game next week boys and girls - enjoy your Easter and we'll see you on 2 May (5.30pm!!).


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