Kincaid Chronicle

12th August 1999

(Season 0 Game 1)

Two words "beer me" started and ended team talks at Tim "Inzamam" Willson's house, prior to the long and much awaited debut at Weston ICA of the powerhouse "Partridge Family".

Much drink was consumed, much shit dribbled and much laughter had as we literally poured ourselves into the team bus, arriving right on time for a 9.30 start.

Almost on cue the band played, and there we were, rocking the bus from side to side as the theme song of the Partridge Family blared all 33 decibels of the rock anthem known as "C'mon Get Happy".

We arrive, there's a deathly silence, then "quick there's time for a beer" and as soon as the bottles had hit the bar, we were called on court. "Skull". The fit looking opposition hit the court about the same time we asked for our beers, being numbers 4, 5 or 6, depending on who was keeping tabs.

I was introduced to the umpire and opposition captain and no sooner had this occurred I'm pointing to the car park and advising all in the stadium "we'll kick that way". Gee it had been a long time between outings.

I thought we'd better bat seeing as the opposition captain had called his troops in to say that "we're fielding" whilst I was still pointing skyward like that Bligh fella in Adelaide. Greg "WA WA" Stephenson and Luke "Dive Roll" Hickey opened proceedings and to say they reminded me of Taylor and Slater would be sheer stupidity. We somehow bluffed our way into the positives, no thanks to Luke who contributed -2 much to the rebuff of the ever building crowd.

The Victorians, sorry, that was a spelling error, The Pricktorians entered the court in matching white T-shirts and batted superbly in both making a positive contribution to the score. The capitan looked pensively at the scoreboard and duly noted that no fines were to be had....."Tim & Dave, you're up". But to everyone's surprise, not just their own, the batted with decorum, and aplomb adding another healthy positive to the scoreboard.

The old Chookless boys, looking absolutely bedazzling in their bottle green uniform, took the score to 109 with much lusty swinging of bat, puffing of air and wheezing. Shame we hadn't even started the four overs yet. A defendable target perhaps, I looked around at what my bowling stocks had to offer...............hmm, maybe another 100 might have been nice.

Great individual efforts highlighted our total team performance that particular evening. We performed as any team should in the field, constantly bagging ourselves and the umpire and the umpire dished a few of his own out hey Pete?

Highlights in the fielding department:

WA WA's bib. The umpire couldn't work out who the batsman was and who the fielders were, but as we said "THE BATTER'S THE ONE WITH THE BAT YA CLOWN".

WA WA's effort at avoiding the ball, great effort and more importantly, consistently made sure the ball got no-where near his public servant hands.

"Inzy's" running between wickets. Some of the crowd thought young Timbo was on seven second delay.

"Inzy's" throwing the ball through the stumps comment. A backhanded flick wide of off stump prompted Inzy to appeal saying the ball went between off and leg stump, mate it wouldn't have hit a second set.

"Wrighty" gets a mention for his Tubby impersonation...............oh, and his almost wonderful catch, all he needed was the footwork a al Tubs in the slips cordon on that hot summers day, but he grassed the opportunity off Dave's bowling, much to the great man's utter disgust.

"Burgo's" zingers. They fizzed as they rocketed time and time again into my poor battered thumb. My thumb thanks you Burgo, for firing the rockets in, and my body thanks you for needing to hold a cold Stubbie of beer in that hand to stop the swelling. Ta mate. To stop the beer getting hot, I drink it of course.

"Schlang's" flick to throw down the stumps, when for all intents and purposes it looked like he was going to let the ball get past him just as everything else had all night.

My tally ho-paper jumping at the back net, shame the ball was no-where to be seen when my feet were off the ground (Ed: remind myself to take both feet off the ground at the same time).

"Lukey's" Dive rolls. And he parted with a bit of skin for his trouble too. Great team effort that.

Soon after, the bus departed, well actually it was about 4 beers each later, Reuben called for "all aboard" and it was back off to Woden, with the tune of the Partridge Family blaring in the background. It was enough to make me have indecent dreams about Shirley Jones that night, was I so stirred by the victory.

Till next game.

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